


A Soft Epilogue

by serendipityxxi



Series: The Void [2]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:53:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityxxi/pseuds/serendipityxxi
Summary: The long promised soft epilogue to Void Fic.





	1. Duke

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I promised this forever ago and I swore it was done when I did. The problem is it was! But Nathan and Duke insisted they needed a turn to talk too. That required a lot of rewrites. So while this is still very much Audrey's story, this interlude will be from all three of their POVs.

_“...we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we’ve suffered enough.”_

- _Seventy Years of Sleep by Nikka Ursula_

 

Their homecoming is a quiet one, which is exactly what Duke’s exhausted muscles would have asked for.

They step through the portal on the edge of twilight. The air in Haven smells so clean in comparison to the Void, almost sweet. The winter sun is strong despite the late hour, limning the edges of the trees in white gold. The colors are so _vibrant_ , the deep green of the pine trees and the pearly blue sky. The fog wall roils in the distance picking up the oranges and pinks of the sunset. The shadows are soft and blue, night isn’t far off but day hasn’t quite relinquished its hold just yet. Duke’s been around the world and he never thought there’d come a day when Haven would be the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen and yet today, it is.

They’re back.

They’re safe.

He’d fall to his knees and kiss the ground but he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to get back up.

Dwight’s propping up an exhausted looking Hailie on this side of the thinny. Hailie gives an excited shout when she sees them and the green light of the thinny painting the grass at their feet disappears.

Duke offers her a tired smile and a wave, but before he can greet them Audrey sits down with a whump, right there on the grass. Duke’s heart lurches unpleasantly. Nathan drops to his knees faster than Duke’s protesting bones can.

“Parker?” Nathan demands, hand on her shoulder, solicitous and anxious all at once. Audrey doesn’t respond just throws her arms around Nathan’s neck, buries her face in his shoulder and _holds on._ “I’m okay,” she announces, voice muffled.

Duke laughs, relief pouring back in. She’s fine. Nathan plants a kiss on her hair then glances up at Duke, wrapping a hand around his calf and squeezing.

“We made it,” he grins.

Duke grins back, wide and disbelieving. “Like there was any doubt,” he scoffs making Nathan and Audrey chuckle. Audrey wipes her face as surreptitiously as she can and accepts Dwight’s proffered hand up. Dwight’s face is set in worry and Audrey hugs the Sasquatch, genuine pleasure to see him crossing her face. Duke wonders what’s happened in the last few weeks that’s bonded them so closely.

Duke and Hailie don’t hug, but they come close, Hailie remembers her dignity a couple seconds before. Duke smiles at her.

“Good to see you, kid,” he offers, and it is. It’s good to see her safe.

Hailie rolls her eyes at the ‘kid’ and socks him in the shoulder gently. “We almost gave up on you,” she says and Duke knows that what she really means is she was worried.

He’s touched.

“You okay? They treat you okay while I was gone?” She looks like she’s been awake as long as he has.

“I’m fine,” she shrugs. “They had me stay with some friends of yours, Bill and Meg McShaw?” Duke nods, relieved and surprised.

“He has terrible taste in music, and the fog wall’s blocked the wifi,” she gestures petulantly towards it making Duke laugh, a startled, real laugh.

“Sorry about that. We’re working on getting the wifi back up,” he offers wryly.

Hailie rolls her eyes again.

“Bill’s worried about you. Meg wouldn’t let him cook because of that,” Hailie gives Duke a curious look. “You should call them.”

“I will,” Duke agrees. He will. He wants to check on Meg and Bill and see how they’ve fared but Duke still has the sick rush of adrenaline surfing his veins, he feels shaky and breakable and would like nothing more than some food and his bed for a couple hours. He wants to lock the doors on the Rouge and not have to worry what’s coming at him.

He’s not there yet though. So Duke sucks in a long, deep breath and attempts to center himself.

Behind them Dwight’s giving Audrey and Nathan an update on the state of affairs, the two of them stand shoulder to shoulder, upright and earnest and somber, a wall of defense the way they always do. And Duke thinks ‘oh,’ very quietly. Of course that’s how it’s going to be now that they’re back in Haven. Nathan ruins that thought almost as if he heard it by glancing over as if to check that Duke’s still there. His shoulders relax fractionally before he turns his attention back on Dwight. Duke feels his own shoulders relax a little. He tries to focus on what’s being said but he can’t follow the thread of the conversation. He loses it entirely a minute or two later when Audrey turns a soft smile on him that promises they’ll go soon.

Duke really needs to take himself and his wobbly knees home soon before he does anything stupid. The relief working its way through the adrenaline is no less heady, shivering through his limbs and fogging his thoughts til all he’s left with is a swirl of affection for these two - the way the sun catches in bright glints in Audrey’s hair, the way Nathan’s jaw clenches – and anxiety over how he could hurt them.

He wants the anger back. He was so angry when he left town. Angry at Mara and Nathan and Audrey and the whole world. How can he be angry with them now when they’ve bled and fought for him, when they’ve cried and risked their lives for _him_? Duke has only ever seen Audrey Parker cry like that once. He can still feel the echo of Nathan’s cold nose pressed into the space between his neck and his shoulder, hands clinging too hard through the fabric of Duke’s coat.

It would be so easy to think all that changed things. It would be so easy to get pulled into their orbit once more. But he’s a danger to them, as much as they’re a danger to him.

What Duke needs is some time to himself, time to calm the hell down and get a grip. He has more important things to consider like how he’s going to keep from going Void now that they’re back home and amongst the Troubled again. That could go so bad, so quickly.

He tunes back into the conversation because Nathan puts a hand on his shoulder, pushing him towards Dwight’s truck and he realizes they’re done talking for now. Duke goes willingly.

“If someone could just drop me off at the Rouge,” Duke suggests, startling Audrey. She glances at him stricken, and Duke is a little taken aback by the strength of her reaction. “I just need a few hours,” he reassures her, he’s not leaving again. Not now at least.

“Duke—” she starts but can’t finish.

It’s Nathan who takes him aside and explains about the kraken. And the Rouge. And the Gull.

Duke feels the blood seep out of his face, he brings up his hands to push them through his hair and finds they’re shaking so he tucks them into his pockets. He forces himself to nod sharply, to hold it together. In a way it’s no more than he deserved for unleashing this spate of Troubles.

He’s worked hard at not being owned by his material possessions, he’s worked hard at being able to let things go; but the Rouge was more than just a ship, more than just a home, the Rouge had been freedom for Duke for as long as he’d had her. It hurts to think of her laying wrecked on the uncaring rocks off Haven. And the Gull…

“Guess you really can’t go home again,” he snarks, his wry smile false and wide to cover the ache that’s settled behind his breastbone making it hard for his heart to beat.

Audrey’s face creases at his words, and he can tell she feels some echo of that ache. The Gull was her home too, her first home. Duke wants to reach out and comfort her but he doesn’t know where to begin.

It’s Nathan who saves him. “Duke,” he says, soft as Duke’s ever heard him, he rocks Duke’s shoulder gently under his hand. “It’ll be okay. Come home with us,” he encourages.

Duke’s shoulders lift in a shrug. What else can he do? He gets in Dwight’s truck with stiff, careful movements.

Audrey and Nathan follow him into the backseat. Both of them at once and they're overwhelming in their concern for him but Duke doesn’t want that. He’s _fine_. He’s going to be fine. He’ll recover from this. He stares straight ahead, concentrating on keeping it together. What he really feels is empty, hollowed out like a tree, just the bark intact. He thinks even that might shatter if they try to comfort him but they don’t say anything, they don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, they don’t promise he’ll rebuild like everything he had can simply be replaced, they just sit on either side of him, bolstering him up.

They make the drive in silence, even Hailie’s subdued by the atmosphere in the truck. Duke stares through the windshield, his face a careful blank. Everything he’s worked for in the last fourteen years is gone. There’s really nothing left here in Haven for him now. There’s nothing left of him anywhere, no one outside of Haven even remembers he exists right now. He might as well not. Audrey slips her soft hand into his and she has to feel the tremor that’s running through his body but she doesn’t mention it. She squeezes his cold fingers, trying to give him some of her warmth.

Duke feels the sting of tears at her gesture and closes his eyes, tips his head back against the seat.

When he opens them again he catches Audrey and Nathan shooting each other worried looks. They’re trying so hard to not get caught and are so bad at it, it forces a wry smile to his lips. Nathan catches it, smiles back, quick and open and pleased. He knocks his shoulder into Duke’s, and Duke recognizes the gesture, has done it himself so often. He can’t help it his expression goes soft and grateful. He knocks his shoulder into Nathan’s in return. It helps that Nathan’s there. Nathan who has known him longer than almost anybody else. He feels more real with his shoulder pressed tight against Nathan’s, more solid, less likely to just…disappear like a boat sinking beneath the waves, like smoke on the wind.

Duke wants to accept their comfort, wants to let someone else take some of the load for once, but he shouldn’t. He doesn’t know how long this will last. He doesn’t know how long before they start being Audrey-And-Nathan again, everyone else on the outside. He’d planned on going into the Void, getting the crystal and getting them out, and if he survived he was going to spend the next week drunk off his ass on the Rouge before sailing away for parts unknown after the Troubles went away.

He’s done his part. He’s done his duty. He’s helped save the damn town. He should be allowed to leave, allowed to grieve in peace, and yet he’s still stuck! He can’t leave. He can’t even get ten minutes before something else punches him in the gut. And there are Audrey and Nathan so willing to help him now, they want to, they’re trying so hard. Duke wants to let them help and yet he can’t stop thinking why now? Why do they care so much now and not when he really needed it?

He just wants a couple minutes of peace. It’s not too much to ask for.

Things are going to get better, he knows that. You can’t sucker punch a person who’s expecting it after all and life has a messed up sense of humor like that. Things are going to get better. They have the crystal. They’re going to cure the Troubles.

And then what? Where will all this affection be then when Audrey and Nathan are living their happily ever after full of domestic bliss and fat babies? They won’t need him anymore, that’s what. Audrey’s hand is soft in his, delicate bones under his thumb. Nathan’s shoulder a solid brace. They’re so warm and they want him to come home with them. They don’t want him to be alone.

Duke closes his eyes again.

He’ll go. He’ll go and when it’s all over he’ll figure out what to do with himself, he’ll figure out what it’s like to move on without any ties to Haven.

It’s a cold and lonely thought; nowhere near as liberating as Duke imagined it would be.

 


	2. Nathan

Dwight drops them off with the promise to check in with them first thing in the morning. They’ll discuss the crystal and everything else then.

“Take the night off,” he instructs before he pulls away, “you deserve it.”

Nathan has every intention of doing just that. Duke is still hurting from the news about the Rouge and Parker is plainly exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes remind him unpleasantly of when she was split. Nathan’s going to make sure they get to rest. At least for tonight.

Nathan wraps an arm around Audrey’s waist, propping her up. She leans gratefully into his side as they walk up the path, her soft hair brushing the underside of his chin at every other step. The stones crunch under their shoes the way they have since Nathan was a kid. It’s a good sound. It sounds like home.

Night is falling fast now, the pinks have all faded from the sky, only the hardiest of purples still remain. There are few lights on, on the street. Despite that Nathan spies a number of curtains being pulled, people curious about the unusual sound of the engine. It’s a reminder that even though they’re home, home isn’t what it used to be.

Nevertheless, Nathan has never been so glad to see his door.

They clunk across the wooden floor of the porch and then Nathan realizes he hadn’t gotten his keys back from Dwight.

He turns to find Duke fishing the spare bunch out from under the third potted plant from the right. Nathan makes a noise in surprise and Duke smirks. It’s not like he’s always had the keys there. He’s moved them around some. It’s just that in cycling the hiding places he’s cycled right back around to the spot Duke remembers from when they were teenagers.

“Top notch security, detective,” Duke snarks, passing them over.

Nathan doesn’t dignify that with an answer. He lets them in and locks every lock on the door. Then he goes to the kitchen, gets a chair, and brings it back to brace it under the doorknob. It’s overkill sure, but neither Audrey nor Duke protest it.

“It’s freezing in here,” is Parker’s complaint. She cranks up the thermostat and stands under the vent with her hands out and her eyes closed like a pagan worshipping the sun. Nathan looks at her wistfully for a long moment. Soon, he promises himself as he turns away. They have the crystal. He won’t be Troubled for much longer.

Nathan walks around turning on every light in the house. All the lamps and overheads, even the range light above the stove, bathing the walls and floors in warm yellow light. He draws the curtains in the living room. Dusk is deepening into twilight now, the blue shadows seeping in, stars winking to life over the dark bay. Usually he enjoys the sight, the way the water moves and catches the light in the darkness. But tonight the rolling waves only put him on edge and he’s had enough darkness for a lifetime. The house smells musty, as if they’ve been gone for weeks, not a day and a half. A day and a half. It felt like a lifetime in the Void. He spares a moment to flick on the air freshener, it’s even got a little light on it. Nathan has never been grateful for until today. The scent of vanilla seeps through the house, chasing away that stale, empty scent.

When he comes back Parker’s all but climbed into the vent, and Duke is still standing in the entrance-way looking lost. Nathan arches his eyebrows at him and bounces his gaze to Audrey and back, inviting him to be amused but Duke just gives him a half-hearted smile and tucks his hands in his pockets.

“C’mon,” Nathan says nudging Duke over toward the couch but he balks.

“No, I don’t… don’t want to mess it up,” he protests, glancing down at his mud covered jeans and boots. Nathan isn’t any cleaner for that matter. He reaches out and snags Duke’s elbow towing him to the kitchen.

“It’ll wipe clean,” he promises when Duke hesitates again. Duke, who doesn’t have a hesitant bone in his body, is stalled out at the thought of sitting on his furniture? Nathan’s worry kicks up a notch. He bends over the table to where Duke’s staring at his hands, makes him meet his gaze.

“Don’t go anywhere,” he instructs when Duke looks at him. “Gonna get you clothes to shower.”

Nathan waits for him to agree to that. Holds his ground.

Duke opens and closes his mouth a couple times then seems to reach some kind of decision. He pushes up out of the chair.

“I should go,” he declares sparking a tidal wave of “no” and panic in Nathan’s chest. Nathan doesn’t want him to leave. He just got him back. He especially doesn’t want him to leave like this when he’s upset and probably dehydrated, in need of medical attention and Haven is _dangerous_ now. He doesn’t know how-”

“Duke—“ Audrey protests.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he tells them point blank. “I’m... Look, it was different when we were all in the Void, okay. That was,” he stops, searching for the words. “I couldn’t let you guys go off on your own,” he finishes helplessly. “But now we’re here and I could hurt you, Nate. Really hurt you if something went wrong.”

“Duke,” Nathan says, pushing him into the chair for the third time, amazed and more than a little humbled that Duke is still so worried about hurting him. “Shut up,” he orders his voice comes out gentle and fond, though he doesn’t think that’ll help Duke settle any. Nathan isn’t worried. He isn’t worried at all. He wasn’t passed out in that cave, a little out of it sure but he remembers what happened. He saw how hard Duke fought. He isn’t scared. “Staying here even if I have to get out my cuffs,” Nathan adds more gruffly, his smile sly and pleased with how he’s managed to set that up for Duke.

Duke doesn’t disappoint, he settles more at the grumpy words even manages to give Nathan an approving face. “Kinky, Officer Wuornos. Is this what you’ve been teaching him?” he questions Audrey, and while the good humor is all for show it’s still reassuring to see him making the effort.

Audrey laughs, plays along. “Handcuffs are the least of it,” she says with a wink. Then her face sobers and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out William’s vial of aether. She must have stolen it back from Croatoan at some point.

“You’re safe, Duke,” she promises. “Stay, okay?” she asks, laying a hand over his on the table top. “ _We want you here_ ,” she adds sincerely. Nathan darts a glance at her face, she looks so earnest. He’s sure now about what he realized in the cave. He’d thought maybe he was reading too much into things but no, he knows he’s right now.

Nathan closes his hand around her shoulder in a gentle squeeze. “We do,” he confirms.

Duke looks down at the tabletop, overwhelmed. He doesn’t answer just shrugs and nods like he doesn’t know what else to do.

Audrey glances at Nathan and Nathan mouths ‘stay with him,’ to her and inclines his head towards the bedroom. Audrey nods and lets him go.

Nathan goes into the bedroom to get the change of clothes he promised. Duke wants to go off and lick his wounds in private and Nathan gets that, he does. But he can’t let him do that tonight. It’s not safe. It’s...hell, Nathan doesn’t want him to go. He almost lost him in the Void. He was gone for so damn long before that. Nathan just wants him close. With the state Duke’s in if someone came after him he’s not gonna be in the best position to fight ‘em off. At this point, Nathan doesn’t know if he even would. So he’s going to do whatever Duke needs for him to feel safe, for him to stay. He’s going to crack shitty jokes and try and make things as normal as possible and hope that helps.

His brain ticks, ticks, ticks with ideas, how to help Duke, what to make for dinner, is he tracking mud everywhere with his boots? Underneath all that, is the revelation from the cave. He heard everything Parker said to Duke. He saw how she’d cried for Duke, how she’d clung to him after. Saw how that affected Duke. He knows now about Colorado too.

The secrets she told, well, they were things Nathan wasn’t admitting to himself but that doesn’t mean they weren’t true. When he’d hated Duke, he’d hated him. Since he’d stopped hating Duke, and Nathan can’t really say when that happened – after Parker came to town, before she came back from the barn maybe?— Well, Nathan’s been pretty busy since then, too busy to really look at his feelings for Duke.

Duke, well, Duke’s affections have been pretty obvious from the start. Nathan hadn’t cared that Duke was still in love with him. He’d been viciously satisfied in a way to be cruel and taunt him. Duke played at affection without taking it seriously the way he played at life. Duke being in love with him hadn’t meant much. A week or two after Nathan gave in and forgave him he’d’ve been in love with someone else or off on some other scheme he just couldn’t put off. _You understand don’t you, Nate?_ Nathan had been tired of understanding.

This Duke, though, he’s more grown up, he’s more mature, Nathan might be willing to trust this Duke. Really, he doesn’t know who he’s kidding. He already trusts Duke with his life. The question is, is he willing to trust this Duke with his heart? It’s not just his heart in question here either. Can he trust him with Parker’s? The answer is a resounding yes. He’s seen Duke do the impossible because _Audrey_ asked it of him. Duke loves her.

So Duke loves them and they love Duke. The real question he supposes is can they make this work? A threesome? A triad? Nathan doesn't even know what to call what he's thinking of proposing. Maybe he should wait. Talk it over with Parker privately at least. That’s probably the smart move.

Nathan’s train of thought stutters to a stop there with his hands in his t shirt drawer.

If not now, then when? This life they’re living, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow. Nathan remembers the ache in his heart when Duke was gone - no less painful for not being physical - the way his thoughts had frozen with terror when Duke had fallen in the void.

What convinces him to try is the way Duke keeps coming back to his concern for being a danger to them. Duke’s not thinking about himself, how to get out of this one. He’s thinking of how to keep them safe.

Nathan shuts his t shirt drawer, bypasses the second full of Parker’s things and opens the third. He pulls out a sweater and heads for the kitchen.

 


	3. Audrey

Audrey stays with Duke in the kitchen though Duke doesn’t pay her any mind. He doesn’t look at her, doesn’t make a joke or a smart comment or anything Duke-like. He just stares at the tabletop blankly.  She can tell he barely notices when Nathan leaves. They sit in silence for long moments. It’s as if he’s sinking into himself. All the black thoughts he’d been able to put aside in the Void-  when he had the distraction of a crisis - are probably flooding back in now that they’re in the relative calm at home. Audrey doesn’t know what to say, how to broach any of the things that are probably bothering him.

When Duke finally shifts it’s only to prop an elbow on the table. He drops his head into his hands, exhaustion in the line of his shoulders. He jerks back up hissing sharply, he’s got a cut near his hairline, long and thin. He must’ve pushed his fingers into it as it’s bleeding again. Audrey is almost grateful to see it.

This she can do.

This is something she can fix.  

She goes and grabs the first aid kit from under the coffee table and brings it back. She pulls out the chair next to him and drops the kit with a clatter, making Duke jerk upright. He watches her warily for long moments in silence as she lays out her supplies but he doesn’t say anything until she reaches for his face. Then he startles, hard, as if he hadn’t been expecting her to do that.

“No, Audrey, it’s fine,” he bats away her hands when they come at him with a cotton ball doused in peroxide.

“Duke--” she tries.

“I’m going to go shower in a minute,” he argues.

“Then I’ll clean it again after,” she counters.

Duke sighs but lets her hand land on the bruise-free side of his jaw and tilt his head so she can get at the cut.

He holds very, very still as she pushes his hair away from the wound, eyes gone dull again. Audrey turns to grab the peroxide, it’s a small cut but who knows what germs were in the Void. She has the sudden horrifying image of festering infections, all their wounds turning black with aether. Duke flinches when she comes at him with the cotton ball and an even more horrible thought occurs to her.

“Duke?” she says quietly, and waits for him to look at her.

His eyes flit around the entire room before they meet hers.

She finds she can’t hold his gaze when he finally does, guilt and fear welling up. She looks down at the hands that Troubled him, Mara’s hands that stole his control. “If you’re uncomfortable with me touching you…”

“Jesus, Audrey,” Duke grabs for her wrists with more emotion than she’s seen since they got back. “It’s not that,” he promises, squeezing her fingers with his cold hands, making her knees go weak with relief at his sincerity.

“Are you sure?” she asks, because now that she’s broached the subject she has to know. Duke heard all the things the mirror creature said, knows personally that these hands have not always belonged just to her and maybe doesn’t need the reminder. “We can wait for Natha—“

“Audrey,” he says voice soft but intense, snapping her gaze to his with the seriousness of his tone. “I may not be Nathan but I know whose hands these are.”

Audrey has to take a shaky breath and blink back the burn of tears at that. When she thinks she’s ready to continue she looks up, opens her mouth “I—” she can’t finish her sentence, has to stop and swallow down a sob. She didn’t even realize how scared of that she was until now.

She squeezes Duke’s hands, feels his answering press, strong and reassuring, studies the way their hands fit together, his long, clever fingers wrapping all the way around hers. Protective, his hands are protective and she doesn’t want that, doesn’t want Duke to set aside something that’s bothering him to make her feel better.

“No one would fault you for blaming me,” she tells him shaky and quiet. She sneaks a glance at his face, he looks upset for her not at her. She needs the truth here though. She can’t let it stand. “She’s in me,” she tells Duke. “She troubled you. She’s to blame for Nathan’s Trouble. For Simon’s and Wade’s and Roy’s,” Audrey definitely hadn’t intended on saying any of this, it’s just spilling out, faster and faster like a pipe that burst in the winter. “For Ian’s. For Geoff’s.”

“Audrey,” Duke gives her hands a shake. “I don’t need a whole list,” he says, brown eyes patient and kind. “She may be a part of you but that’s it. Just a part. Her choices aren’t your choices. You wouldn’t do the things she did, I know that.”

There’s a wealth of forgiveness in Duke’s voice, understanding and sympathy that Audrey can’t take -- no matter how much she wants to.

“ _I_ troubled you,” her voice cracks on the words she wasn’t expecting to come out. Like he’s forgotten. Like he could ever forget. Why is she bringing this up now? He just found out he’s lost his restaurant and his home, she didn’t intend on heaping all of this on everything else. She should just shut up but instead the words keep falling out.  “It was because of what _I_ did that you were being swamped by Troubles, that you were _dying_...”

Audrey glances up from their hands to find Duke smiling at her, wry and soft and fond. “You never wanted to Trouble anybody, Audrey. We both know you didn’t do that to be cruel or for fun or for the hell of it like she would have, and I seem to recall having a say in that too,” he adds.

She takes her hands from his and picks back up the cotton ball, dousing it in peroxide afresh. Duke holds still and lets her clean the cut though it must sting. His eyes are focused on her face, warm and beautifully brown and alert like they haven’t been since he heard about the Rouge. Audrey sucks in a deep breath, pulling it together. He doesn’t need her falling apart on him, especially not now. She must let something slip because his eyes soften.

“The way I see it, Audrey,” he adds, “you’re the one who keeps giving me a choice, who keeps believing in me to do the right thing. You gave me a choice back in that cave, gave me a chance to show myself I don’t have to become the monster. That’s not something I’ll forget,” he promises.

There’s too much gratitude in his eyes. Audrey drops her gaze to the table. She wants so badly for him to have the _choice_ , to be free of this whole mess.

She picks up a new cotton ball and moves on to cleaning the scrapes on his cheekbone, giving them both a moment to settle. His skin feels paper thin under the thumb that’s holding his chin steady. His goatee scratches against her palm.

“The fog wall isn’t your fault,” she tells him, without looking up from what she’s doing.

Duke jerks under her hands and then stills again. A wary, watchful sort of stillness.

“Neither are all the new Troubles floating around town,” she adds, fishing a bandaid out of the box.

“Audrey-”

“No.” She opens the pack and peels off the backing. “You had nothing to do with setting off all those Troubles, Duke. When you found out what she’d done you tried to get somewhere safe so they wouldn’t explode all over everybody. If we judge my actions by my intentions then we judge yours by those too. _You never wanted to Trouble anybody, Duke,_ ” she parrots back.

“C’mon Audrey,” Duke protests, “if I had been here I could have stopped that guy with the darkness Trouble way before it got that bad.”

“I never said I wasn’t mad at you for running away, Duke Crocker,” she scowls, covering the cut with the bandaid. He jerks as if to pull away at her words but Audrey holds on. She has to be honest here, Duke can spot a kind lie from a mile away. He doesn’t want kind lies, he’ll accept nothing but the truth. It’s one of the reasons Audrey likes him so much. “But, maybe if I had said this to you earlier you might not have left at all,” Audrey admits and it is not easy confronting your failures. She urged him up out of the hospital and sent him off to go solve Troubles without ever considering what he might have felt like, too busy taking care of the town to take care of her people and that’s on her. She squares her shoulders and gives him the truth.

“So we’re done not talking about big emotional things because they’re big and emotional and scarier than the damn Troubles.” She squeezes his cold hands with both of hers. “And I’m telling you now, the Troubles that came out of you were never your fault. You were an easy target for Alex’s anger before you left. And you’ll continue to be an easy target because the people to blame aren’t here, but anyone who knows what happened, what really happened, none of them will blame you.”

Duke looks away, embarrassed. He can’t argue with her without implying she’s responsible for any of Mara’s actions and he just said he doesn’t believe that. He knows she’s giving him the truth of her beliefs. So he’s stuck digesting that.

Audrey smiles and gets to her feet. She gathers up the wrappers and the used cotton balls and dumps those in the garbage, and watches Duke turn that idea over in his mind. It’s not his fault. He might not believe it now but Audrey’s willing to repeat it until it sticks.

“I mean, think about this - _Nathan_ doesn’t blame you and he’s always looking for something to blame you for, isn’t he?” she jokes.

Duke lets out a startled bark of laughter and shakes his head.

“Did I hear my name?” Nathan asks from the hallway and that just makes Duke chuckle more.

Audrey grins.

“Nope. Not from us. Must be hearing things, Wuornos,” she teases.

Nathan rolls his eyes and dumps an armful of clothes on the table in front of Duke: a t shirt and sweats, socks and a cozy sweater the color of oatmeal. It is the softest sweater that Nathan owns. Audrey steals it often herself. It won’t be cold enough in the house to warrant the sweater in a couple minutes, the heater does its job well, but Duke likes sweaters and so Nathan has brought him one to make him feel more comfortable. Audrey doesn’t hide how it makes her smile. Duke seems to realize the significance of the choice too. He runs his fingers over the cuff of the sweater gently and looks up at Nathan.

“Thanks,” he says and there is a world of meaning in the word.

Nathan nods. “Don’t use all the hot water,” he grouses, just to keep things normal.

“Oh, I am going to take the longest shower known to man, you may in fact have to come fish me out of the drain,” Duke assures him, though his heart isn’t in the tease.

“You boys fight it out,” Audrey announces, “I am going to use the shower in the bedroom. Do not come fish me out of the drain,” she informs them.

They all laugh and it feels warm, feels good, so good in fact that despite the twelve layers of grime she’s coated in she finds it hard to actually leave the kitchen. They’re home. They’re safe. She sits on her chair and undoes the laces on her boots slowly, listening to Nathan and Duke squabble over nothing. It’s comforting, soothing this little beat of normal they’ve got going on. The heat’s really started to kick in now, Audrey closes her eyes to appreciate the warmth on her cheeks and jerks awake a moment later, she nodded off while sitting up.

Nathan pulls her boots off for her, Audrey's so tired she just lets him, watches him tuck them into the shoe rack beside the backdoor.

“Go on, Parker,” he says quietly, “we’ll be here when you get back.”

Audrey glances at Duke who nods with a wry smile.

“Can we...” Audrey glances from Nathan to Duke, “can we talk when I get done?” she asks, her throat tightens at just the thought but she pushes on. "This all _sucked_ , but...  I don't want to make the same mistakes over again.  Not this time.  Not talking about things, ignoring how we feel, it's- it's not working for us."

“I don’t know, Audrey,” Duke teases, “this is Maine. I hear it’s illegal to talk about feelings,” he glances at Nathan as if for confirmation.

They all laugh but Audrey knows Duke well enough to know that every joke has a grain of truth in it. He doesn’t want to talk about the Void. Hell, she doesn’t either. But not talking is what broke them in the first place. Audrey’s not going down that route again.

“You’re a world traveller, Duke and I’m not really from Maine,” she points out, “I think we’ll be able to muddle through.”

When their laughter has died away Nathan’s face grows serious. “Can talk when you get out of the shower, Parker,” he promises. “No more ignoring what’s in front our faces,” Nathan decrees and he sounds so much like his dad when he says it that Audrey startles.

“Was that Nathan Wuornos admitting to having a feeling,” Duke jokes.

“Keep that up and I’ll give you a feeling,” Nathan promises but he can’t manage to put even a little heat in the threat, it’s comes out soft and fond.

Audrey leaves them standing close together, silhouetted by the yellow light of the range behind them, their heads bent together, Nathan is smiling and Duke is tired but isn’t running for the hills. It’s a good image.


	4. Duke

“Nervous about Chief Parker’s directive?” Duke asks when they hear the bedroom door shut. He can’t be the only one who has no desire to talk about what happened in the Void.

Nathan just chuckles and rocks back on his heels. “She’s right. Be good to clear the air,” he says thoughtfully.

Duke shrugs neither agreeing nor disagreeing verbally.

“Flip you for who showers first,” Nathan offers, holding out a quarter on his thumb.

Duke snatches it and flips it in the air. “Heads.” He calls while it’s still spinning.

It comes down tails and Nathan looks disappointed to have won.

“Can go first if you like,” he offers.

“You won fair and square,” Duke chides. “Go ahead.”

“Don’t feel the dirt,” Nathan argues, “you should go first.”

“Bet you can smell it though,” Duke makes a mock offended face, waving his hand in front of his nose. Duke knows he must smell pretty ripe but he's gone nose blind to the stench by this point.

Nathan rolls his eyes but he teases right back. “Can’t smell anything over you.” No offense taken when there was a time a joke like that might have riled Nathan to blows.

“Go on, get out of here,” Duke smiles, not sure what to make of this Nathan who hugs him, who smiles with affection and speaks as gently with him as he does with Audrey. He wants to sit there and soak it all up, _Nathan looking at him like he used to before everything._ Nathan’s hand warm and sure on his shoulder.

The self-preserving part is screaming at him danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Nathan asked him to stay. Nathan brought him a sweater. Nathan went back to 1983 to write him a letter begging him to come back. Nathan’s acting like he _cares_ and the self-preserving part of Duke’s brain wants to know why. Why now? Why does he care NOW and not before he left? Why now, not when he was dying?

But he doesn’t have the courage to ask. Not tonight. Not after everything they’ve been through. He couldn’t take it if the answer was some Haven thing they need a Crocker for. He couldn’t take that all the friendship and affection they’ve shown him in the last forty-eight hours was just to keep him around so he could be useful.

The worst part is he would stay, even if that was the case.

He’d stay and he’d try for them. He realizes that now with the kind of resignation that had come upon him when he’d realized he was Troubled. A weary sort of ‘oh’. Of course that was how his luck would turn. He thought he could leave and care only about what happened to himself but he can’t.

So he’d stay and he’d ferry people out through the fog wall or whatever they needed. He’d stay and be useful until something triggered him and he ate half the damn town like some goddamn vampire until Audrey and Nathan put him down and even then he still wouldn’t hate them.

The other option is they’re keeping him around so they can keep an eye on him, so he doesn’t hulk out and destroy half the town maybe? Neither thought feels very good.

Duke sits in the small, warm kitchen, his eyes flitting over the little details, taking them in without really cataloguing anything. The post-its on the stove that Nathan put up when his Trouble first started up.  The refrigerator magnets, Duke remembers that pear and that banana from when he was a teenager and Nathan would bring him home on afternoons when Garland wouldn’t be there.

There’s a set of shelves by the door that have been there just as long, though the books and the photographs have changed. There’s a couple vampire romance novels Duke is sure Nathan hasn’t read, a photograph of Nathan and Audrey on the steps of the PD.

Audrey’s at home here. The thought suddenly seizes Duke: _They’re living together._

He’s not sure what to do with that. He’s not sure why he’s even here. He should leave. Now. While they’re both in the shower. He’ll go to Bill and Meg’s. He’ll walk if he has to. He’s pushing to his feet to leave when a towel hits him in the shoulder.

He spins and there’s Nathan, smelling the way Nathan should: old spice and ivory soap, solid, dependable scents. That’s how he’s used to thinking of Nathan: solid, dependable. Nathan smiles at him, soft and gentle and not at all what Duke is used to, directed at Audrey maybe, but not at him.

“I should go,” Duke announces, winces when it comes out more like a question than a declaration of intent. “You and Audrey deserve your privacy,” he offers as an explanation but Nathan is already shaking his head. “Are the phones still working? I can call Bill to come get…” Duke cuts off the babbling as soon as he realizes he’s doing it, mouth spewing without his consent.

He expects Nathan to be grateful, to let him go, to take the time to be alone with Audrey and get Duke out of his hair.

He isn’t doing that.

Nathan rolls his eyes and drops a  heavy hand on Duke’s shoulder.

“Said we want you here, meant it,” he gruffs out and he at least sounds more like Nathan even if he’s still looking at Duke weird, soft. Duke almost wants to check that there isn’t someone behind him, someone Nathan should be looking at like that. He should stop freaking out about it, he should enjoy it while he can, but—

“Get cleaned up, you’ll feel better,” Nathan pushes Duke in the direction of the shower and Duke goes because he doesn’t know what else to do right then.

He locks the bathroom door and gets into the shower on autopilot.

Duke gets under the spray and spends a lot of time watching the water run down the drain, brown, then grey, then finally clear, as clear as his mind feels. He feels empty, like a paper bag with nothing in it. He’s numb he realizes, and he laughs quietly to himself. All the emotions have finally overwhelmed him and now he can’t feel any. He’s in Nathan Wuornos’ house and he’s numb. Duke chokes on his chuckles so they won’t hear him through the walls.


	5. Audrey

Audrey peels off her layers one by one. The coat goes on the hook on the back of the door. The crystal gets wrapped in a t shirt and tucked into Nathan’s gun safe. She sheds socks that smell and jeans that are caked with mud, sweater and shirt and bra, underwear, it all goes into a trash bag. She’s never wearing any of this again. She might just burn it all. She feels raw and tender when she gets into the shower, all the cold, cold places waking up with the heat. The run off in the tub goes quickly brown.

Her body acclimates swiftly, warming from the outside in. She shampoos her hair twice, soaps and scrubs and shaves and wishes she were the kind of person who bought exfoliating scrub because she’d really like some now. All the cuts and scrapes burn with the soap. She finds bruises she didn’t even realize she’d gotten. Her skin tingles with the heat, turning pink from the temperature.

And there in the shower Audrey sinks to her knees and lets the tears come. Sitting in the bottom of the tub, face buried in her knees, she lets herself feel it, all of it, how scared she was, how many times they could have died. She cries for Charlotte and James whose voices she never thought she’d hear again. She cries because Nathan loves her for who she is even with the shadow of Mara following her around. She cries because Duke doesn’t hate her. She cries because they’re home and they have the crystal and she’s so relieved.

She surprises herself when she realizes some of her tears are for Joseph Cross. She killed her father. Mara’s father. She killed him. He’s dead by her hands. He was a monster. He deserved that and worse. But he was her last possibility of a parent. The door is totally closed.

Audrey Parker, Haven PD, is officially an orphan.

She’s not alone though. She thinks of Nathan and Duke standing so close together in the warm yellow light of the kitchen. It makes her smile. And then she’s turning off the taps suddenly; she needs to see them. Stepping out of the shower she feels like she’s shed something besides just dirt, like she’s a brand new person and not in a ‘I don’t remember who I am way’, but in the way people always talk about, like she’s turned a new leaf. She dresses hurriedly in pajamas, doesn’t dry her hair or even take the time to put on her socks, just carries them out with her. She can’t waste the time. She needs to see them.

When she gets down the hall she finds Nathan standing in front of the open fridge pulling out ingredients for putting together dinner. He’s barefoot, his hair still damp and falling into his eyes, the awful, brittle tension from the Void is gone. He's relaxed, the lines of his back and shoulders loose in his short sleeved white t-shirt. They're _safe_. They're _home_. Audrey takes a moment to close her eyes and inhale the scents of home. Nathan’s aftershave and her shampoo, that air freshener the Teagues gave Nathan. It’s a warm vanilla that makes the whole house smell like Nathan’s baking cookies all the time. And under all that is the salt scent of the sea that will always smell like Haven to her. It’s funny, she hasn’t been living at the little yellow house that long but it already feels like home, not in the way the Gull did, but it’s good too.

Nathan smiles when he closes the fridge and finds her standing there. “Parker, was starting to think you’d come down with the Glendower Trouble,” he teases dryly, holding out his hand to her.

Audrey laughs and goes to him, wraps her arms around him and just holds on for a long uninterrupted moment. They’re _safe_ . They’re _home_. She doesn’t have to be vigilant that they’re being snuck up on. Doesn’t have to worry where the next step will take them. She can just savor the moment. Nathan’s shirt is soft under her cheek, it smells like gain soap and home instead of dried blood and two days of fear sweat. Audrey would be lying if she said she didn’t appreciate the difference. Nathan’s heartbeat is steady under her ear. His big hand strokes down her back, quiet and soothing. Audrey goes up on her toes to kiss him quickly, this man she loves, her partner.

Audrey takes a step back so she can see his face.

“I need you to know I didn’t pick you because of your Trouble,” she blurts out. It’s not what she meant to lead with but it’s something she needs to say, something he needs to hear. She’s only going to get better at talking about things by actually talking about them.

Nathan studies her face for a long moment, then tugs her back into his space, runs his hand over her hair.

“Know that, Parker,” he rumbles and Audrey feels a flood of relief. “Thinkin’ about it now, maybe you never chose at all,” he says.

Audrey goes very still, not sure where he’s going with this. “Nathan,” she hurries to reassure him but he strokes his hand over her hair again and shakes his head, eyes still soft and fond.

“No, s’alright, Parker. You never wanted to choose, maybe you don’t have to.”

“What do you—“

Nathan’s saved from interrogation by Duke clearing his throat behind them. They turn as one, Duke looks better for the shower too, his cheeks have some color in them from the heat but the dark circles are still there under his eyes, his face still has that pinched look that tells of too much stress for too long. Audrey wonders if Nathan would object if she just reached out and dragged Duke into their embrace.

She’s starting to think he wouldn’t.


	6. Duke

Duke hadn’t wanted to interrupt them. He'd wanted a band aid and the box was unfortunately right to next where Audrey and Nathan were being well, Audrey and Nathan. They clearly thought they were alone so it had only been fair to make some kind of noise, remind them he existed, that they’d demanded that he stay even though they could obviously use some time to themselves.

But now they’re both looking at him and their faces are as soft as when they were looking at each other, all fond eyes and small smiles and Duke definitely doesn’t know what to do with that. At all. He smiles back before he can help it then fixes his gaze solidly on the table.

“Sorry,” he mutters, “just wanted to—” he snags the box of bandages, waves it at them. “I’ll just… get out of your hair,” he says backing up a couple steps.

“Sit down, Duke,” Nathan orders. He lets go of Audrey and comes over to push Duke down into a chair. “Get cleaned up.”

“Yes, sir, Nurse Ratchet,” Duke snarks but he can’t keep a trace of relief out of his tone. He doesn’t want to go anywhere truth be told. There’s nowhere in Haven he’d feel safer than here.

Nathan huffs a laugh and snags something from the freezer. It’s a bag of frozen peas. Duke wrinkles his nose in distaste. Nathan laughs harder at his expression.

“It’s for your face,” he explains with a roll of his eyes.

But he doesn’t hand it over like Duke expects, he cups the opposite side of Duke’s face to hold him steady- just as Audrey did earlier - and presses the peas so carefully to the throbbing purple bruise on the side of Duke’s jaw. Nathan can’t feel but he’s so gentle when his thumb strokes across Duke’s cheekbone. Duke swallows around the lump that rises in his throat. This isn't his to have. It's not, Nathan shouldn't be looking at him like this but he can't bear to tell him to stop. He’s trying to keep things as normal as possible, faking it as best he can because he wants to be around them. He wants to be here with the two people in the world he cares most about for as long as he's still himself. He wants to be warm and dry and safe with them. But they keep acting like they want him there, like they’re worried about him, like they were just as scared of losing him as he was of losing them and he doesn’t know how to deal with that.

Nathan’s gaze drops to his lips for a long, heavy moment. Their faces are very close together, so close Duke can smell the toothpaste Nathan used. Duke swallows hard, infinitely grateful Nathan can’t feel his pulse fluttering wildly in his throat, holds his breath but Nathan flicks his gaze back up to meet Duke’s eyes.

“Okay?” Nathan gruffs out, blue eyes searching his.

Duke nods briefly. He puts his hand up over Nathan’s to hold the bag and Nathan reluctantly pulls away.

“Wouldn’t be so picky if I were you. Not much fresh around here for eating,” he warns, turning to the fridge.

“They’re mushy, Nathan! Their very consistency offends me,” Duke complains to hide his disappointment. 

Nathan looks over and catches Audrey watching them a fond grin on her face. Duke expects Nathan to be embarrassed, instead his smile widens.

“Come doctor the patient, Parker, maybe your bedside manner’ll suit better’n mine,” Nathan suggests.


	7. Audrey

Audrey laughs and slides into the chair next to Duke’s, bumps his arm with her elbow. Duke bumps her back gently with his, brown eyes soft and warm in the yellow light.

They watch for a moment as Nathan pulls out eggs from one of the local farms, the last of the bacon and bread that is at least a week old but it’s been in the fridge so it’s still good. Audrey approves of his choices not just because she’s starving and that’ll be quick. There are frozen dinners in the freezer and other non-perishables, but Audrey knows Nathan knows that Duke hates frozen foods. Would know that, she suspects, even if Duke hadn’t gone on a rant that lasted a full twenty minutes on all the awful things in prepackaged meals one half-drunk night at the Gull. It makes her smile knowing Nathan’s thinking of Duke.

Duke switches the hand holding the peas to his face drawing her attention and Audrey winces. That’s gotta be cold. She snags a clean kitchen towel for him to wrap it in then she cracks open the peroxide and Duke makes an exaggerated face. It is such a Duke-face, complete with overdramatic wincing and Audrey can’t help her grin at such a real Duke response.

“This is not what I have in mind when I suggest playing doctor lately,” Duke grumps further and Audrey laughs real and relieved.

She loses the grin as she cleans the scrape on Duke’s cheekbone and replaces the wet bandaid on the cut by his hairline. There are gray bruises under his eyes, and his skin feels cool still when she runs her thumb over his cheek. There’s a scrape on the back of one of his hands, scrapes on the knuckles of the other from punching William. And a welt on his neck from one of the biting insects from the dark patch that Audrey can’t do anything for.

She cleans the cuts and thinks about what Nathan was trying to say before they were interrupted. Nathan is her partner but Duke is their stabilizing force. They work so much better with him than without. Still, she can’t imagine Nathan was saying what she thinks he might have been saying.

Watching them just now - with her breath caught in her chest at the tenderness of the moment - it occurred to her again, as it does every time they touch, that Nathan doesn’t hesitate with Duke like he does with most people. He just moves in Duke’s space, like it’s his. Like he has a right to. Duke never pushes him away either; Nathan is allowed in his space no matter what shape their relationship is in. She thinks of their hug the day before yesterday, how Duke rocked into it for Nathan’s benefit, compensating for his Trouble without a thought. She wonders once more about their relationship before that big fight that triggered Nathan’s Trouble.

Duke sits quietly and submits to her doctoring with no complaints and Audrey worries he’s fallen into a spiral of blame again but then his chin hits his chest and he rouses himself with a start and she realizes he’d nodded off.

She puts her hand on his shoulder feeling the tension in the muscles there as he jerks awake. “It’s okay, Duke,” she promises even as his eyes fly open in alarm.

“Audrey--” he breathes out, relaxing even before he takes in the kitchen and the lights. The trust in his eyes -she’s there so it must be okay - feels like a vice squeezing her heart. He puts his hand up over hers, a warm press, blinking as he takes in the fact that they’re _home_. He gives her a shaky, relieved smile and she knows it’s hard to believe they’re here, hard to believe this is real.

Nathan puts the bacon into the pan with a sizzle, and the scent fills the kitchen, warm and salty and unmistakable. They’re really here. They’re really home. Audrey’s stomach rumbles in response.

“Soon,” Nathan promises the noise with a grin.

Audrey grins back then turns her attention once more to Duke. “Anything else needs peroxiding?” she teases.

Duke smiles, ducks his head and gives it a shake. “I’m alright, Audrey,” he answers.

He’s not alright, not even close to alright, but she’ll take him at his word there’s nothing else that needs patching tonight.

“Nathan?” she asks.

At the stove he turns, spatula in hand and shrugs. “Didn’t see anything new. Can check when I’m done with this,” he promises.

Audrey squints at him for a moment in suspicion but doesn’t insist he do it now. The scent of bacon is warm and crisp in her nostrils and she’d really like some soon. Instead she raids the first aid kit for herself.

She squirms around in her chair to get at the blister on the back of her left heel. She was wearing socks for crying out loud. How did that even happen? Duke’s hand on her ankle stops her, his long fingers are warmer now but still tentative. He gestures for her to give him her foot and she does without hesitation, turning her ankle enough for him to get at the heel. Duke is gentle, so gentle as he cleans the wound with another cotton ball full of peroxide, blowing over it to ease the sting.  

Audrey holds very, very still as Duke works, afraid to startle him into stopping. She realizes maybe this is why Duke was so still when she was the one wielding the peroxide. He didn’t want her to stop. Audrey relaxes her leg further in Duke’s grip. She needs him to know she’s comfortable. She looks up to find Nathan watching them with soft eyes and gives him a soft smile in return.

Duke presses the bandaid into place with careful fingers, drawing Audrey’s attention. “All done,” he says lightly, but his eyes are on Nathan and his hands are tense as if he’s overstepped his place. As if Nathan would be the one to decide that. Nathan rolls his eyes at Duke and turns back to the stove. Audrey doesn’t remove her foot from his lap, just pulls up the leg of her pajama pants to show off the scrapes on her knee. She doesn’t even remember where she got those from.

Duke gives her a look. But Audrey just arches an imperious eyebrow at him in return. He shakes his head and gives a soft huff of laughter, his damp hair falling into his eyes. Without the gel holding it back it curls around the edges of his face, softening the lines stress and fatigue have etched there, the smile goes a long way too. Audrey wiggles her toes impatiently against him and Duke grabs her foot, thumb pressing into the sensitive sole, making Audrey jerk.

“Audrey Parker, are you ticklish?” he asks, eyes lighting up with mischief.

“No.” Audrey denies flatly, fighting the urge to squirm madly. It’s nice to see him amused but like hell is she giving up that information without a fight. She looks up to find Nathan watching, clearly holding back a grin and gives him her best ‘don’t you dare!’ look.

Duke looks from one to the other with a slow spreading smile, he wiggles his fingers against the pad of her foot and Audrey gives herself away, jerking her foot back and laughing. Duke and Nathan laugh too and it feels really good to sit in the kitchen with the warm lights and the smell of bacon frying and laugh with these two at the end of a day that could have gone so much worse.

“I’m sorry,” Duke relents, holding up his hands in apology and pats his leg.

Audrey gives him a considering look. “Okay,” she says, propping her foot on his thigh once more. “I guess I trust you,” she teases. Duke looks like she just took the wind out of his sails with those words. He sits still as a stone with Audrey’s foot in his lap.

“I do too,” Nathan says softly from where he’s whisking the eggs in a bowl.

Duke’s head snaps around.

“You shouldn’t,” he warns quietly, picking up a new cotton ball and dousing it in peroxide.

“Duke,” Audrey tries.

“I’m a liability, Audrey,” he grits out, hands still so very carefully cleaning the cut.

“You won’t be for long,” Nathan promises, not denying it, not mitigating it, acknowledging yes, he might be dangerous, but they’re working on it. Audrey could kiss him for that.

Duke says nothing, just presses his lips together and places a bandaid over the scrapes on Audrey’s knee. He looks up at her, clearly expecting her to move. Audrey promptly drops the other foot in Duke’s lap and rolls up the pant leg on that one. Duke gives her a different look this time, one tinged with exasperation and fondness, and sighs. A tiny smile tugs at his lips as he douses yet another cotton ball. Audrey sits back and smiles. It's a start.


	8. Duke

Duke is hesitant and gentle with his wielding of the peroxide but he makes sure to get the job done. Who knows what kind of infections they could have picked up in the Void. There are scabbed over scrapes on Audrey’s hands, another burst blister on the back of this ankle and cuts on this knee as well. Audrey isn’t stoic, she winces and curses through his doctoring.

“Young ladies who use that word don’t get lollipops from their doctor,” Duke chides teasingly after a particularly vehement outburst.

“Objection!” Audrey argues. “Valid use of that word shouldn’t count against a person.”

“You could wait for Nathan, he was the doctor in your world without the Troubles wasn’t he?” Duke teases. At the stove Nathan snorts.

Audrey’s eyes shoot to Duke’s, wide and blue and protesting. She shakes her head. “Didn’t say you weren’t doing a good job there, Kevorkian,” she settles her foot more firmly in his lap.

When Duke bends over her knee again she complains, “better be a red lollipop.”

Duke smiles. He blows over the scrapes on her knee like she’s a little kid, wanting to take away the sting of the cut, not wanting to hurt her. God, he wants her to be okay, wants her to be safe and whole and happy. It had  _ hurt _ to see her fragile and fading during the split. 

This isn't his place though. It's not his place to feel the delicate bones of her ankle shifting under her skin as he holds her still to place the bandaid on her heel. Even though she asked him, even though Nathan is right there unconcerned, Duke feels like he's crossing boundaries he shouldn't cross.

They take his breath away with their declarations of trust. Don't they know how foolish that is? Don't they understand how far down he had to dredge to find the self-control not to hurt Nathan in the Void? It isn't easy. It is the opposite of easy. Duke doesn't know that he's got any reserves left at this point.

He’s selfish. Always has been. He knows the danger but he can’t bring himself to leave, can’t bring himself to  break  the warmth and comfort of the little yellow kitchen. The air smells of bacon and Audrey’s skin is warm under his hands, warm and alive, all five toes pink and healthy and intact. He runs his thumb over the top of her pinky toe. She was worried he didn’t want her touching him, worried he couldn’t tell the difference. She's unmistakable, so vibrant and alive she's like a hum in the back of his senses, so _real_ even Nathan can feel her. Duke has always been able to tell her touch-- even that day outside Gloria’s house, even when he wished he couldn’t, even when he wanted to pretend…but that’s not a thought for tonight. Tonight, he snags a fuzzy blue sock from where she’s dropped them on the table and rolls it onto her foot.

She grins broadly and drops the other foot into his lap to be shod. He glances over at Nathan half expecting a tight frown at their antics only to find Nathan grinning wide and fond at them. Duke raises his eyebrows at his friend and Nathan’s smile turns lopsided. Duke drops his gaze back to Audrey’s socks, a grin tugging at his own lips.


	9. Nathan

Nathan keeps drifting off while standing up. He can’t feel the tremble in his muscles, the ache in his bones, the goose bumps that come and go, like Audrey and Duke can. The only way his body has of telling him it’s tired is pretty much shutting his brain down. He stared blankly into the fridge for practically the entire length of time between herding Duke into the shower and Audrey getting out. He’s opened at least three cabinets and completely forgotten why he’d opened them all in the first place.

He’d barely settled on making scrambled eggs and bacon - a herculean mental task with his brain full of cobwebs- when Duke got out of the shower, and Duke was in there for a good long period of time. Nathan’s sure of that because he hadn’t used any hot water for his. He couldn’t feel it anyway, and it meant Duke would have more. He’d needed it. He came out looking a lot more like the Duke that Nathan knows, sweater and all.

Still, it had been a very long while to stand with his head in the clouds. Nathan knows he’s heading for a full shutdown but hopefully the food will be enough to put that off til they talk.

Duke and Audrey kept distracting him too. He put the bread in the toaster oven and forgot to press the toast button because of them. They keep making him look up to smile at one or the other, their familiar banter warm in his ears and his chest, grounding him in the here and now. No one is going to get attacked. There's nothing lurking nearby waiting to pounce. They’re _home_ . They’re _safe_. Listening to them calm and teasing it starts to feel true, at least a little bit.

They eat and eat and when they run out of eggs and bacon they have toast and butter and then toast and jam and it all tastes like the best food Nathan’s ever had. Nathan slips Duke the last piece of bacon, squeezes his shoulder briefly as he passes behind him to get the rest of the juice from the fridge.  Duke looks up, blinking hard at the small gesture. Nathan gives him an encouraging smile. Just to give him a distraction Audrey steals Duke’s glass and drains the last inch of juice in it. It works. Duke complains loudly but he’s smiling at her like she hung the moon, Audrey grins back, mischievous and twinkling.

They talk about nothing while they eat, celebrity gossip Seth made Duke listen to before he got here. _There are still people out there living their lives with absolutely no knowledge of the Troubles._ The thought baffles Nathan’s mind and gives him a painful surge of hope.

Audrey doesn’t recognize half the musicians Duke mentions and Nathan is aghast.

“Oh, please, given your vinyl collection? When’s the last time you listened to an artist that was still alive?” she teases.

Nathan squawks indignantly and Duke laughs and laughs at him -- and for a little while, just a little while, it’s like those nights at the Gull when Audrey first came to town. Before everything started to unravel. Just him and Audrey and Duke talking; _connecting_. Those evenings at the Gull had meant a lot to Nathan, though he’d never have admitted it then. Audrey had given him a reason to play nice, a start to exorcising the old hurts between him and Duke.

Nathan had forgotten how entertaining it was to listen to Duke spin tales, how funny he could be when he wasn’t using that wit to poke at Nathan. It had been weird to hear Audrey spout the same lines about Duke that Nathan used to say to Garland _. He’s a good guy. He cares more than he lets on._  And while Nathan had worried that Audrey was being taken in by all the traits that Nathan had once fallen for, there had always been a part of him that thought Audrey Parker was too smart for that. Audrey saw people for who they were. She’d been right about Duke. Nathan had been too, he’d just pushed away all the good, focused on the bad because the bad helped him keep his distance, the bad helped him not feel the hurt.

Audrey calling bullshit on all of that had been unwelcome but had turned out to be just what he needed. Which was pretty much the story of his life with Audrey Parker.

And now, here they are.

Audrey looks ready to fall asleep in her empty plate. Even Duke is flagging. Nathan can’t wait another night to talk about this though. They know better than most, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow.

So he busts out the scotch, pours them two fingers each, heads for the living room. Audrey follows, Duke reluctantly trailing her, it’s time and they all know it. Nathan chooses the single armchair, watches Audrey curl cat-like into the corner of the couch. With nowhere else to sit, Duke heads for the other end. Before he sits, he leans over the coffee table and they do the double tap toast that’s been their habit since they were teenagers. That warms Nathan from the inside more than the scotch he can’t feel pooling in his stomach. It’s so familiar, such a part of their history.

Parker’s towel was wrapped around her shoulders like a cape all through dinner, keeping her wet hair off her shirt. Now the cape is about to fall off her shoulders so Nathan sets his glass on the coffee table and pulls it away, goes about properly drying her hair for her. She hates sleeping with wet hair, always complains about the cold. Her hair dryer went down with the Gull though and Nathan’s never really had use for one.

Audrey gives a happy sigh and leans into his hands, buries her toes under Duke’s thigh and Duke responds by wrapping a hand around her ankle, thumb softly smoothing over her fuzzy socks. Nathan wonders if they’re as soft as they look. Wonders if Duke can feel the fine bones of her ankle moving as she shifts. He’s surprised to find he’s not jealous, he doesn’t begrudge either of them the contact, isn’t about to fly into a rage because Duke can feel and he can’t. The small gesture brings phantom warmth to Nathan’s chest, he’s glad they’re connecting.

The room is silent except for the soft susurration of the waves in the distance, the hum of the heater. Audrey swallows another sip of scotch then sets her glass down.

“So, that happened,” she says, trying for a joke but her voice cracks halfway through. Nathan drops his hands on her shoulders, curls his fingers in, lets her know with his touch that he’s there. Audrey leans her head against his arm in response and like always when she touches him it’s an explosion in his synapses, he can feel the dampness of her hair and the warmth of her cheek and her breath short and sharp against his skin.

“Anyone want to talk about it?” she offers, closer to joking now.

“God, no,” Duke answers and they all laugh, the tension broken. They are, none of them, particularly good at emotional overtures. The blind leading the blind.

“This is really good scotch, Nathan,” Duke says, probably for the sake of turning the conversation to safer waters.

Nathan smirks though. When he meets Audrey’s gaze it turns into a full fledged grin.

“You should know,” he tells Duke, anticipating the indignation, “it’s from the Gull,” he reveals and Duke does not let him down.

“You vultures stole all my stuff, didn’t you?” he squawks, but his brown eyes are warm with amusement. He likes the thought that they might’ve saved the booze.

“Well now if you’re going to call us names, maybe we won’t tell you about the five boxes in the garage we rescued from the Gull for you,” Audrey mock scolds.

“Five?” Duke asks, in a totally different voice. Amazed is the word. He’s amazed that they rescued his stuff and suddenly Nathan wants to dredge it all out and drop it in his lap. Wants him to know that yes, they cared enough to do that.

“Pots, pans, couple knives, some booze that didn’t break,” he outlines for Duke. Duke’s eyes going wider and wider with surprise. “Some of that we traded for coffee,” Nathan has to add.

Duke huffs. “Well I wouldn’t want you to go without your life-blood,” he grumbles.

Audrey kicks him softly and rolls her eyes.

“You won’t be singing that tune in the morning,” she points out.

Duke makes a little moue to indicate she has a good point. She grins.

“We’ll go through the boxes tomorrow,” Nathan promises.

Duke nods, gaze still wide, surprised and... touched, he looks touched that they saved his things. Nathan is shaken by that look. Duke’s amazed that they didn’t just leave all his stuff to be washed away. He didn’t even expect that from Nathan? Nathan has been a terrible friend. He wonders if he should even suggest what he’s contemplating anymore. Maybe Duke deserves better.

Nathan steadies himself by combing his fingers through Audrey’s damp hair, gives Duke a minute to settle.

He doesn’t settle. He turns to them. “You guys really rescued my stuff?” he asks and his voice sounds suspiciously husky.

“Well, yeah,” Audrey says as if it’s obvious they would. Nathan could kiss her for that.

“But you were mad I left,” Duke argues, and he doesn’t even have the reserves left in him to make it a joke, to pretend it doesn’t matter. This _matters_ to Duke and he’s letting them see how much it matters. He wants to know they care and he was sure they didn’t.

Nathan can’t let that stand.

“I wasn’t,” he disagrees. He wraps the towel back around Audrey’s shoulders so she’ll be warm enough and goes to sit on the coffee table in front of Duke. No more stalling. Cards on the table.

“Was worried,” he confesses.

Duke makes a strange little sound of surprised denial, sitting back in his seat.

Nathan glances at Audrey, needing the backup. “Dealing with the hard things head on right?” he asks.

She nods and he can see she’s not sure where he’s going with this but she’s willing to back his play.

Nathan nods, squares his shoulders, takes a deep breath. A sudden horrible thought hits him hard. He’s been acting like Duke’s back for good, like he’s come back to stay, but Duke never said anything of the sort.

“We’re gonna do this, need to know you’re not gonna run again,” he tells Duke straight out.

“Run?” Duke sputters, eyes going hard.

“Don’t blame you for leaving,” Nathan backtracks, he’s come at this all wrong already. Great. “Jus-”

“Oh, well, thanks for such a magnanimous gesture,” Duke growls and Nathan has no idea where the hell Duke is coming from. Why’s he so mad? It’s a reasonable question.

“Duke,” Audrey reaches out, gets her hand on Duke’s arm, trying to calm him down but Duke won’t be calmed.

“No, Audrey,” Duke shakes her off, “let me hear how it was cowardly and selfish to leave you in the lurch like that. Let me hear how Nathan doesn’t blame me because that’s what I do, I take off, so it’s okay, it’s expected!”

Nathan wasn’t even thinking any of that! He didn’t mean it that way! “I didn’t say that!” Nathan barks. “didn’t—” he takes a breath, modulates his tone. “Didn’t say any of that,” he finishes, it still ends in a half growl. Figures Duke would take the absolute worst interpretation of what he was trying to ask.

“What are you saying then?” Parker asks, clearly trying to get them back on track.

“I’m saying,” Nathan grabs for the opening, “sayin…” He looks helplessly back and forth between Audrey and Duke. Words have never been his strong suit. He wants to say he’s asking Duke to stay, he wants to say he’s asking Duke to…words fail him. He opens and closes his mouth like a landed fish, feeling foolish and slow.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Duke says after a moment, smug and defensive. He folds his arms over his chest for crying out loud.

Nathan can’t blame him for thinking the worst, he hasn’t given Duke much reason not to. Of course Duke thinks Nathan’s blaming him for running out on them, it’s what he would've done last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. But it’s not what he’s doing now. He knows Duke didn’t leave because he was being selfish.

“You told us you felt like you were making things worse! You left because you were trying to stop doing that!” Whatever was blocking Nathan’s words dissolves in almost a shout.

Duke’s mouth falls open in surprise. Audrey isn’t doing much better. Nathan would be insulted but he kind of deserves it.

“I _listened_ , damnit! Heard you.” Nathan reaches out and shakes Duke’s shoulder. He needs Duke to hear him now. He sees Duke. He saw how hard Duke worked to try to stay with them, to try to save the town.

“Watched you about to launch yourself into the damn void so you wouldn’t Trouble anybody! Watched you explode so many damn Troubles from inside you -- had no idea you were holding in so much -- watched you collapse and thought you were dead,” Nathan can’t breathe and the only thing that tips him off is how his words lose volume at the end coming out breathless.

“Breathe, Nathan!” Duke encourages, his hands coming up to shake Nathan’s shoulders, eyes going wide in panic.

Audrey’s halfway off the couch, worry plain on her face. Nathan waves her back.

“M’fine!” he croaks. He sucks in an audible breath and shakes his head but the image of Duke aether pouring out of his eyes, of Duke laying so still on the ground, is harder to shake. “Second time I thought I’d killed you in six months,” he laments. “ _I_ didn’t help you when you asked! Thought you were dead ‘cause of that! Couldn’t get mad at you for leaving. After everything you went through. You asked me for help Duke and I didn’t come through. Course you left. Only way to stay alive…” Nathan falters here, words leaving him again, just his breath coming in loud shaky pants now. He’d let Duke down. He’d failed him, when Duke had come through time and time again for them.

“ _Glad_ you’re alive,” he tells Duke, hand moving up from his shoulder to the side of his neck.

Duke shudders hard at the touch and Nathan almost yanks his hand back before Duke speaks.

“Nate--” his voice cracks on the word and he drops his gaze to their knees.

Nathan holds his breath and waits, waits to see what Duke’s going to do.

“Why didn’t you help me?” Duke asks, soft and unsteady and _honest_. No artful misdirection, no bragging or pretending it doesn’t matter like he always does, like he knows makes Nathan mad. He asks, point blank and it hits Nathan like a punch, except he feels this, guilt digging deep. “I begged you, man, told you I was dying. You’d been in my body when we swapped, you knew what it felt like when a Trouble was going to explode.”

Nathan owes him an answer. He can see his own hand shaking where it’s still resting against the side of Duke’s neck. His breathing is coming hard and loud in his own ears, his mind racing, what should he say? What should he say?

In the end he gives Duke the truth. He owes him that much. “I thought it’s Duke, he’s over-exaggerating. Thought, he can handle himself,” Nathan grinds out, staring past Duke’s shoulder. “Had to take care of Parker. Thought ‘no, that’s not how Duke dies, the man with the tattoo kills Duke. He’s not gonna die like that. _Thought I had time,”_ Nathan confesses.

Duke won’t even look at him after that, just stares past. He gives a quick, silent nod as if he deserved that. He didn’t! He didn’t! But...

“Jesus, Nathan,” Audrey swears and Nathan deserves that, he does.

Nathan flicks his gaze to hers. There are tears in her eyes. “You were dying too,” he tells her, despair heavy in his voice. “Thought I could help you first, then deal with Duke,” he shakes his head, turns back to Duke, turns his hand so it’s gripping Duke’s shoulder now, probably holding on too hard but Nathan’s scared he’s going to run and he needs to hear this. “Thing is, you never ask for help,” he tells Duke. Duke’s eyes move back to Nathan’s now. “Shoulda realized how serious things were when you _asked_ ,” Nathan apologizes, letting all the shame he feels show in his words and his face.

“Why are you telling me this now,” Duke asks quietly, moving back so Nathan’s hand slips from his shoulder. “Why are you apologizing _now?”_ he demands, voice rising. “I came back. I brought your Coulton. I got your crystal. What else do you need from me? Why are you messing with me like this?” Duke shouts.

“Duke,” Audrey objects but he’s already pushed himself up and over the arm of the sofa, pacing loud angry steps across the hardwood.

“Messing with you?” Nathan is at a loss and is starting to get a little angry himself.

“No one’s messing with you, Duke,” Audrey protests very carefully.

Duke rounds on them. “The hell you’re not! Neither of you gave a _damn_ before I left! Yet you risk yourselves to save me back in the Void?”

Nathan’s building up to a full head of mad now. What the hell is Duke thinking? He wouldn’t manipulate Duke like this! This isn’t his sty...Jordan. Duke watched him date Jordan. Audrey manipulated Duke into killing Harry Nix.  

Duke’s still ranting while Nathan’s coming to this realization. “You both could have _died_ and then the whole damn town would’ve gone to hell--”

“To hell with the town!” Nathan explodes, bringing Audrey and Duke up short. He gets to his feet putting himself squarely in Duke’s path. “I care!” Nathan shouts and he could swear he actually felt his heart stutter as the words crossed his lips. “Cared then. Care now. Didn’t want to. Tried not to. Can’t seem to stop,” Nathan declares with a frown.

Duke deflates like a punctured tire, the angry tension seeps out of him. He looks… sad, instead.

Nathan doesn’t know what to make of that, doesn’t have the focus to parse it because now that he’s started talking he can’t seem to stop himself. “Sacrificed you both for the town already, didn’t I?” Six months of thinking he’d killed them, six months more alone than he’d ever been in his life. “Didn’t help a damn thing,” Nathan, shakes his head in disgusted, “still Troubled. Still fighting the Troubles,” the words are bitter on his tongue. “Was willing to sacrifice _myself_ and it still didn’t make a damn difference. Not losing you, either of you, again, no matter the cost,” he vows, vehement and fervent gaze flicking between Audrey and Duke who both look taken aback, surprised at his declaration.

Nathan doesn’t know how they can be. He thinks he’s been pretty damn clear.

“Nathan—” Duke tries but he has no follow up to that, his mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out.

That’s okay because Nathan means, it, by god, he means it. He’s not giving them up.

“Done thinking I’ve got time either,” Nathan declares. He’s made that excuse too many times. Had time run out on him too many times. Thought it’d hurt less. Thought it’d be the smart thing to do. He’s been wrong.

He steps right into Duke’s space, so close their stomach’s brush when they inhale at the same time, so close the light can’t get between them. Nathan wraps his fingers around the back of Duke’s neck, drawing him forehead to forehead with him. “S’why I need to know, Duke, we start this,” Nathan’s free hand curls into the front of Duke’s sweater, “you gotta be all in.”

“What are we starting here, Nate?” Duke all but whines, his eyes are closed and he twists his forehead against Nathan’s, the tip of his nose brushing the tip of Nathan’s. They’re sharing oxygen between them, breathing in each other’s breaths.

Duke’s gotta know, he can’t not know. But he’s asking, and Nathan just said Duke doesn’t ask for much. He deserves to hear it and yet Nathan can’t seem to force the words out.

“C’mon, Duke,” Nathan huffs against the other man’s lips. “You, me, solving the Troubles,” he prompts hoping Duke remembers.

“Three things Audrey Parker loves best,” Duke finishes, as if by rote. How often has he repeated those same words to himself? They sound practiced, like a mantra he’s clung to. Nathan’s heart twists. He sees Duke again silhouetted in the dim light of the cave punching through stone for them. He’s loved them for so long, Nathan is sure of it. He’s just gotta make the next move. Just one more.

“That’s not an answer, Nathan,” Audrey chides, startling them both.

Nathan glances to her, his partner, she winds her arms around them both looking up at him hope and fondness in her face. Nathan raises his eyebrows and Audrey nods, encouraging, supporting, _she wants this_ he realizes. He’d been pretty certain she did but it’s written all over her face. _She wants this too._ Nathan inhales, long and deep. He’s not ruining everything. Not with Audrey Parker on his side.

Duke presses closer into him and Nathan realizes Audrey’s given Duke a squeeze, reassurance and affection pressing them all closer together.

Duke sucks in a breath and meets his gaze “Nate, what are you saying?” he asks, bolstered by Audrey’s presence as well.

Nathan fumbles for words, what is he asking, he’s asking for everything they had before it all went to hell, he’s asking for more than they ever had if they’ll trust him one more time.

“Been dancing around this for years,” Nathan says, fighting for the words he needs to say, to get this right “could keep trying two at a time, leave someone out, don’t think that’s the answer. Not anymore,” he adds, shooting a glance at Audrey.

She slides her hand under his shirt, rests her palm warm and electric against the small of his back. “Doesn’t fit us,” she agrees, her grin stretching her cheeks, flooding Nathan with relief.

Duke flicks his gaze to hers his eyes full of questions. Audrey nods toward Nathan, nudging Duke’s eyes back to his. She arches her brows at Nathan in a ‘go on’ gesture that he can’t help but grin at. She’s not pulling him out of the deep end on this. In a way he understands why it has to be him saying this. Nathan nods at her short and sharp, squares his shoulders like he’s going into battle and meets Duke’s gaze. He’s out of words and he’s not going to find the right ones on the spot anyway. He doesn’t have Duke’s silver tongue or Audrey’s quick reflexes. But Duke’s eyes are on him, warm and whiskey brown in the light when Nathan didn’t know they’d ever stop being aether black earlier. He’s waiting, his expression open, he’s too tired to be guarded,  soft, hesitant, like he won’t let himself believe this is going where he thinks it’s going.

Nathan catches Duke’s chin between his thumb and index finger, tugs him to face him head on, moving slow, telegraphing his intentions, giving Duke time to back out if he wants to.

He doesn’t.

He doesn’t back out.

He lets Nathan press his lips to his own. Nathan tries hard to make sure it’s just a soft brush of skin against skin, fleeting and fragile like this thing they’re building. Duke’s hand clutches at Nathan’s shoulder, Nathan can’t feel the warmth of Duke’s fingers but he feels the way his balance shifts at the grip, hears the hitch in Duke's breathing. Nathan presses in again, firmer this time, eyes open to catch Duke’s every expression. Duke’s eyes are shut, his mouth half open, hope painful and bright etched across his face. Nathan kisses him again, firmer this time, more confident and Duke sighs into his mouth, shifts and then, then he’s kissing Nathan back!

Nathan can’t feel how soft Duke’s lips are, the wet slide as they part but he can feel the desperation in Duke’s quiet moan against his mouth, rocks back as Duke presses further into his space, another grounding touch, keeping Nathan rooted in the moment.

They pull apart a fraction of an inch, checking in, Duke’s eyes are huge and Nathan doesn’t know what he sees on his face but they’re plunging back into the kiss. Nathan’s hands come up to stroke the long line of Duke’s neck, cupping the back of his head. It’s different, kissing Duke with his Trouble on but it’s still the same in some ways, it’s still kissing Duke. It’s still like coming home.


	10. Audrey

Audrey watches, heart in her throat as Nathan presses in again, firmer this time, more confident and Duke, Duke kisses him back! Hesitant like he can’t quite believe that this is happening but like he can’t stop himself, he wants it so badly. The third time Nathan kisses Duke, he kisses him like he means it, and for a guy who can’t feel, it’s still a whopper of a kiss! It sets sparks in Audrey’s belly, bright white shots of pleasure just from watching. Duke makes a quiet, needy sound into Nathan’s mouth that Audrey suspects would embarrass him if he weren’t so distracted tilting his head just so. She spies a pink flash of tongue between them. And yeah, that... that’s distracting!

A quiet voice in the back of her mind asks if this is what she wants, both of them? The answer is a resounding wave of ‘yes’.  Of course. She’d always been greedy. Deep down she’d wanted this.

Nathan had… he’d fit into her life more neatly. He’d enabled her obsession to be honest, he’s as enamored with the mystery as she is, he wants to solve it as much as she does. It’s thrilling to have that support, to have someone who wants the same things she wants.

But Duke, he hadn’t wanted to get wrapped up in the mystery, hadn’t wanted it to consume his whole world and in doing that hadn’t let it consume hers. He was the one that reminded them that there was life outside of the Troubles; that they couldn’t give and give if they’d hollowed themselves out. He brought fresh eyes and an out of the box perspective. And the attraction, the connection, it had never gone away, even after she and Nathan had gotten together.

She’d always been aware of the simmering tension between the boys as well and this… They’d all seen how much better they functioned when it was the three of them together. It’s a novel solution, something Nathan was damn good at thinking up and Audrey’s going to grab it with both hands.

As soon as they’re done grabbing each other.

She smiles watching Duke melt into the kiss, letting Nathan’s hands stroke along the line of his jaw and down his neck and Audrey shivers because she knows just what that’s like. Then Duke gets his hands up and gently pushes both Audrey and Nathan away.

“Nate,” his voice is husky but there’s so much pain in it as well. His eyes are wide and scared. “You don’t want this. You don’t want me.” The words are a plea and there’s nothing in there about Duke not wanting them, Audrey notes.

Nathan gets all up in Duke’s face again. “Don’t tell me what I want, Duke,” he growls. And yeah, that was all kinds of hot too. Then his face softens, he puts a hand on the back of Duke’s neck, rests their foreheads together. “Parker wasn’t wrong, what she said in the cave…” Nathan glances down at her.

“I thought you were passed out!” Audrey exclaims.

Nathan’s arm tightens around her waist. “Wasn’t passed out. Just out of it. But it’s true. What you said. For me it’s true.” Nathan assures them, blue eyes so earnest that Audrey can’t even complain that he never said any actual words himself. Apparently Duke can’t complain either since he has to take a step back, his chest is heaving as he tries to rein in his emotions, to think.

“Look,” he says voice full of gravel, “we’ve had a rough couple days and maybe you’re just emotional - which is a big change for you I’ll give you that - but…I… Audrey?” he appeals like she’s going to say no, to say she doesn’t want this?

“Can’t solve the Troubles without you,” she tells him, the flip words bypassing her brain and tripping off her tongue. It’s the wrong thing to say. She recognizes that immediately.

“Audrey,” Duke shakes his head and sits down hard on the arm of the couch. “If this is about getting me to stay—“

“No, Duke!” She protests, cutting him off, immediately contrite. “That’s not what we’re doing. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked.” She pushes her hair back from her face and blows out a breath. “We’re not bribing you into staying or blowing off steam because we survived the Void or whatever else you may think. Right, Nathan?” she asks, looking for some back up here, her heart is pounding in her chest, harder than it did in the Void. If they mess this up here she doesn’t think there’s any going back from it.

“She’s right,” Nathan confirms, stepping up next to her. “Wanna be with you. A permanent thing. No more pretending it’s not real.”

Audrey’s head shoots around to stare at Nathan, her eyebrows hit the roof. “One of you is going to have to tell me all about what that means in a little bit,” she warns.

Nathan huffs a laugh and has the good grace to look embarrassed. Duke is still sitting there flabbergasted.

“But yes,” she tells Nathan, “I’m in,” she agrees going up on her toes and kissing him swiftly, joy buzzing through every cell in her body. She turns to Duke when she pulls away. “I can’t change the past,” she tells him, “can’t fix what went wrong, where we fell apart… but I’m willing to fight your future, Duke Crocker, whatever shape it comes in,” she watches his eyes soften as he recognizes his own words to her back in Colorado.

“We’re never as good as when we’re all together, the three of us,” she shrugs, running out of words, anxiety swelling in her stomach, blocking her throat. “If you don’t want us, Duke, that’s okay. We can still, can still—”

Duke’s eyes go wide and he grabs her hand. “That’s not what I’m saying,” he says quietly, voice as serious as she’s ever heard it and Audrey’s knees go weak with relief.

“Why now is what I’m asking, I guess.” Duke’s gone back to holding himself so very carefully.  Audrey thinks of him accusing them of not caring before. Can imagine how this might seem sudden. Hell it is sudden in some respects; but in other ways it seems inevitable, like it’s been coming to this all along.

“We learned what it’s like to live without you,” she says simply, “now that we don’t have to we’re choosing not to.”

Duke looks up then, meets her gaze, there’s the sparkle of mischief in his eyes as he slowly smiles. “So what you’re saying then is it’s a good thing I left, so I could come back?” he teases.

Audrey can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of her throat, even Nathan cracks a smile.

She catches Duke’s eye and the laughter dies out. His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip. And just like the last time she’s the one who moves in first. She presses in and kisses Duke herself. With him sitting on the arm of the couch she doesn’t even have to go up on her toes to do it. Duke makes a small sound of want that goes right to her core and then he gives into the kiss. His lips are so soft, and he kisses her back like he’s taking small sips of a fine wine, one he wants to savor. He tastes warm like the scotch and there’s the tickle of his goatee in there like she remembers. She threads her fingers into his hair and scratches her nails through the short hairs at the nape of his neck making him whine into the kiss.

When they pull apart she catches his gaze, checking in, making sure this is okay with him. Duke looks wary. His eyes flick back to meet Nathan’s as if expecting him to be angry.

Audrey glances over her shoulder to find Nathan half a step away his expression isn’t even a little bit peeved, it’s soft, open, a little adoring in the way that makes her heart twist.

“You’re staring,” she teases, reaching out and tangling her fingers in his shirt. His heart is beating a mile a minute under her hand but he looks steady, pleased with himself and trying not to show it in the way that he gets sometimes.

“Just enjoying the view,” he stammers out, shrugs, the hint of a blush covering his cheekbones.

Audrey laughs through her nose. She loves him. Both of them. Wow. There’s a swoop in her belly, excitement and nerves all at the same time. Both of them. She gets to keep _both_ of them.

“I think you should kiss Duke again so I can have a turn enjoying the view,” she says hoping that will convince Duke that this is real. What they’re proposing is _real_.

“Can’t argue with a lady,” Nathan agrees.

Before he can make a move though Duke reaches a long arm out and drags Nathan into a kiss. Finally, he’s getting with the program!

Duke takes his time about it, slow and thorough, hands tunneling through Nathan’s hair, breaking off to breathe, forehead pressed to Nathan’s then going back in again. Nathan moves in the kiss like he knows what he’s doing, like he can feel it when she knows he can’t and while it’s a hell of a kiss to watch Audrey gets a niggling suspicion this is not the first (second) time he and Duke have kissed.

“Missed doing that,” Duke whispers husky and rough when they break apart.

She knew it! She knew it! There was so much more going on between them than Duke used to bully Nathan when they were kids.

“You two have been holding out on me!” Audrey crows.

Duke and Nathan laugh, guilty with their secret, flushed with pleasure.

Duke traces a gentle finger down Audrey’s cheek. “We’ll tell you later,” he promises.

“You better,” Audrey threatens, leaning into Duke’s hand.

He leans forward and kisses her next, softly, barely a brush of lips on lips, warm and tender, his hands where they cup her jaw are light, careful. Audrey remembers this from Colorado too.

"Yes,” he breathes out against her lips, then pulls back to repeat it again. “Yes,” he tells Nathan, expression so soft and vulnerable Audrey wants to make him stop. Wants to call the whole thing off. There’s no way she’s capable of taking care of Duke’s tender heart, balancing it with her own and Nathan’s. They’ve put so many cracks there, together and separately. Can they really risk damaging it more? Audrey has no idea how Duke can be brave enough to put his faith in them again. But there he is kissing her and Audrey vows to be strong enough to handle it, to keep the three of them balanced, to try.

She leans into the kiss, threading her hands gently through his hair. Tonight she’s got no one else’s feelings to be worried about, no countdown to her own disappearance, no reason to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday so I'm giving you guys a bonus update this week. Hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to point out your fav part in the comments.


	11. Duke

Duke is kissing Audrey Parker. Duke is kissing Audrey Parker directly after kissing Nathan Wuornos. Duke isn’t entirely sure he’s not still in the Void somewhere under the influence of some mind altering rock or something. Not mushrooms. They’re definitely not as good as this.

Audrey’s hands are careful as they slide along his jaw, mindful of the bruising there. Hesitant when they scratch through the short hairs at the base of his skull. She doesn’t know where he’s injured and she doesn’t want to hurt him, Duke realizes.

Duke isn’t sure what to make of the whole situation. Nathan apologizing. Nathan and Audrey wanting to be _with_ him. Maybe this is all some weird Trouble and they’re going to wake up tomorrow and realize that. It’s entirely possible they really are reacting to the stress of the situation like he said.

Duke doesn’t know what to make of the whole situation, but he does know that- real or not- this isn’t a temptation he can turn down. He’s loved Nathan more than half his life, probably more than that if he’s being honest. Audrey… Audrey Parker inspires loyalty and admiration wherever she goes. She’d charmed him despite himself from almost the get go but it’s more than that, she’d believed in him, trusted him, challenged him in ways no one ever had before. She _sees_ him, the _real_ him, has never been fooled by anything he threw at her, nothing the town said about him and that’s what he valued most about Audrey. The way she understands who he is as a person.

He’d _missed_ that about her in the last few months. She’d been through hell, Duke understands that it’s hard to reach out when you’re struggling yourself. He can’t stop the thought that he’d turned up whenever she asked for help even though he’d been struggling. It’s a petty thought, he knows, makes him feel like the worst kind of human.  The image of her face, crumpled and crying _for him_ in that cave floats across his mind’s eye. She’d fought for him. Fought so hard. Didn’t it make up for the weeks before? He remembers the panic in her eyes when he’d fallen through the stones.

Duke doesn’t know if he can trust what they say, that they want him, permanently, that in the golden days after the Troubles they’ll still want him there. For right now though, he knows he’s going to take what he can get. He’s loved them both for so long. He can’t turn them down, not tonight when the cold of the Void is still deep in his bones and the warmth of their affections is the only thing thawing him out.

He kisses Audrey like this might be his last chance, savors it, doesn’t hurry, doesn’t rush, takes his time.

Audrey’s as impatient as ever, she fists her hands in his sweater, drags it up and over his head, Duke obliges her. He expected this, expected them to hustle him off to bed, for them all to try their best to forget in the heat of skin on skin. This, he can do, he’s good at this part.

Nathan makes a startled sound, distracting Audrey who breaks off the kiss. They both follow the line of his gaze to a bruise on Duke’s ribs. It’s purple and yellow and has treads in the shape of a boot. Duke shrugs, he’s seen it already, though the purple is edging more towards eggplant than the plum it was before.

“Oh, Duke,” Audrey murmurs, sympathy on her face.

“It’s fine, Audrey,” he squirms out of the way before she can touch. He’s positive the concern is more uncomfortable than the bruise and the bruise hurts like a sonofabitch now that it’s been called to his attention again, as if thinking about it has reminded it that it should be throbbing.

“Sure nothing’s broken?” Nathan asks, naked concern in his voice, riling Duke’s temper.

“Yes, Nathan. I’d feel if it was,” Duke bites out, then freezes, he hadn’t meant it like _that_.

Amazingly Nathan doesn’t take offense, just shrugs and moves in to lay a hand on the side of Duke’s neck. “’d feel better if you let Parker make sure,” he says, the words slow and careful, thumb gentle on Duke’s skin, gaze heavy and imploring.

Duke rolls his eyes, ignores the flush of pleasure Nathan’s worry inspires. “Thought getting felt up was where we were going with all this anyway,” he sighs.

Audrey laughs, squeezing in between them. Nathan makes room for her, his hand slipping off Duke’s neck reluctantly. Audrey traces her fingers softly down Duke’s side, reassuring and gentle but her hands turn brisk and professional as she palpates the bruise, really checking like she’s been trained to.

Duke swears softly under his breath in Mandarin and Audrey fixes him with a look. “Don’t be such a baby,” she teases, but her eyes are warm and Duke grumbles good-naturedly some more for her as she prods his ribs none-too lightly.

“Nothing’s broken,” she informs them a moment later.

“Told you so,” Duke says smugly.

Audrey leans up and cards her fingers through his hair soft, soothing strokes. “I shouldn’t have joked. It’s okay to admit it hurts,” she tells him gently.

“Like you two are so great at that,” Duke scoffs immediately.

“Got a good excuse,” Nathan counters.

Audrey rolls her eyes at both of them.

“My knees hurt, my ankles hurt, my wrist hurts and if I don’t take an aspirin I don’t think I’ll be up for anything else soon,” she announces. Nathan and Duke chuckle at her candor.

Audrey goes to the kitchen and grabs the aspirin out of the first aid kit, returns with a glass of water. She pops a couple and hands the bottle and the glass to Duke who reluctantly swallows a few. He’s not even sure why he’s reluctant about it. He aches. All over. Audrey and Nathan went through the same thing, and it’s not like they’re going to look down on him for taking the pain relievers.

_He doesn’t want their worry._ The thought is startling but true. _It feels like too little too late, reminds him again that they let him down._

Duke doesn’t want those thoughts, not tonight, not when Nathan’s looking at him like he used to, not when Audrey’s eyes are soft and her touch warm. He loves them. And if this is just for tonight, if tomorrow morning they wake up and realize they were just working off steam or coming down off the adrenaline, celebrating being alive, whatever this is – he wants tonight and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

So he steps up and kisses Audrey slow and sweet, the way he’s always wanted to because she deserves to be worshipped and loved like there’s no one else like her in the world.

Behind them, distantly, Duke hears a jar being uncapped and then the scent of icy hot hits him in the sinuses.

He breaks the kiss to demand of Nathan, “what are you, ninety? Why do you even have that?”

Nathan rolls his eyes, gets the gel on his fingers and comes at Duke with a determined expression. Duke lets him, grits his teeth and swears as it starts to burn.

“You’ll be glad I had it in the morning,” Nathan chides.

Duke begrudgingly raises his arm and lets him because this is Nathan trying, this is his weird little apology. And that, more than the sting of the icy hot, brings tears to Duke’s eyes. Nathan’s trying, Nathan wants to make it up to him. He drops his chin to his chest and closes his eyes against the emotion, breathing deep and steady as he can.

“Anywhere else?” Audrey prods.

Duke’s head comes up to give her a sour look, but he pulls his arm around to reveal another bruise high on the back of his bicep. Nathan treats it with the same attentiveness, fingers so very careful as they work. Duke expected hurried touches and frantic kisses. He didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect them to focus on patching him up. Making him feel better. Duke swallows roughly, hope beating hard in his chest that this could be real. Nathan drops his free hand to warm the nape of Duke’s neck, rubs into the muscle with the heel of his palm after a moment. Duke gives a low startled sound and then drops his head forward, giving Nathan better access to the muscle. Shit, that’s exactly what he needs. Duke didn’t even realize how much tension he’d still been carrying. Nathan smirks at the invitation, moves around behind him to get both hands in to work the soreness out of Duke’s neck and shoulders.

Duke groans into his ministrations, long and throaty, hoping to spur them back to safer waters. It doesn’t. Audrey slides her arms around his waist, careful of the bruise, braces him as Nathan continues to work at his aching muscles. Duke wraps his arms around her in turn, hides his face against her collarbone. He knows she must be able to feel his eyelashes as he blinks. He only hopes they’re not damp. Audrey shivers in a way Duke recognizes as arousal and he smiles, relieved and turned on in equal measure. He blinks again slowly, purposefully dragging the touch out. He can see the hard points of her nipples printing through her camisole now.

“Think we should take this show on the road,” he murmurs, stroking his hands up her back light and slow, appreciating the play of her muscles under his fingers. She feels small under his palms, delicate, not a word often used in conjunction with Audrey Parker but apt nonetheless. Duke has felt the iron will that lies under all this soft skin, experienced the compassion that is a hundred times softer. He wants the passion now, wants the gentle mischief and the demand, wants the real Audrey Parker to wipe away the memory of—

As if she can read his thoughts, Audrey interrupts them. She plants a kiss against his temple, affection on her lips. “Bed,” she directs, dragging her hands down his arms to his wrists and pulling him up.

Duke goes, his feet aching, legs trembling with tiredness but he goes. He glances over his shoulder to find Nathan already at his back. He smiles softly at his old friend, his old flame, his lover once again, a thrill singing through his belly at the thought. He kisses Nathan tired and sloppy but Nathan doesn’t care. “Thanks,” Duke mumbles against his lips and feels Nathan’s answering smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a fav part? Tell me about it :)


	12. Audrey

Audrey grins watching her boys kiss. She _knew_ they could be good to each other- this is so much more than she’d hoped for- but she’d known.

They head down the hallway, turning off lights as they go. The bedroom is warm and dimly lit, just the bedside lamp on low. They all pause, staring at the bed. It’s a big bed. The intricately carved headboard always catches Audrey’s hair when she sits back against it to read at night. Nathan’s smile is slow and smug as he glances at her and Duke from beneath his eyelashes. Audrey returns the grin. She won’t be reading in bed tonight.

“Strip!” Nathan orders Duke, waving the jar of icy hot at him.

Duke opens his mouth to protest but well, he’s going to take off his pants at some point tonight so he gives in. He doesn’t even make a production of it just shoves the soft grey material to the ground and flops spreadeagled onto the bed. He’s commando under the sweatpants, of course he is. His cock, already half hard, bobs lazily against his abdomen with the force of his bounce. Audrey’s eyes take him all in. He’s beautiful even with the bruises dotting his legs and that nasty scrape on his hip from when he fell off that cliff.

Catching her gaze Duke smirks and stretches in a practiced way, showing off the long lines of his body to their best effect in the dim light. The shadows playing over his skin highlight the smooth pull of his muscles as he twists. It makes Audrey grin to see him preening for her.

Nathan hauls his t shirt over his head one handed in a move that Audrey takes a moment to appreciate too. He joins Duke on the bed, the jar in his hand.

“Do not,” Duke stresses, nodding to the icy hot, “get that anywhere near my dick,” he warns.

Nathan lets out a bark of laughter. “Wouldn’t think of it,” he promises, voice low and intimate, “don’t wanna ruin my plans.”

Nathan is the cheesiest! But he kisses Duke again then, quick and hot, all tongue and teeth and she remembers why she likes him even though he’s got no game.

Audrey doesn’t take her eyes off them as she kicks off her pajama pants and toes off her socks. She joins them in her tank and underwear, really glad she took the time to shave in the shower now.

They turn to her when they feel the bed dip, eyes soft and unfocused, the both of them. It brings a hitch to her breathing to see them so open and relaxed. Their welcome makes a tight knot in her gut relax. She’s wanted here, not forgotten, not an after-thought.  “Hey,” Nathan greets, putting out a hand to draw her to him, kissing her over Duke’s sprawled form. They break apart to find Duke watching them with half lidded eyes.

Audrey smiles. “Hey,” she repeats, leaning down to kiss Duke. He threads his hands into her hair and deepens the kiss, one long finger tracing the line of her throat, down past the collar of her shirt, over the curve of her breast. He grazes her nipple through the cotton and Audrey gasps.

She doesn't get a repeat performance because Duke jerks to the side and sits up cursing vehemently. She pulls back to find Nathan rubbing icy hot into the blue bruise on the inside of Duke's knee.

"Warn a guy next time!"

Nathan is thoroughly unimpressed. “Turn over,” he orders.

“Really, Nathan, that’s your idea of foreplay?” Duke complains.

Nathan squawks, goes red and scowls for a moment but Duke just smirks his dirtiest grin and then complies, flops over with his cheek pressed into the pillow. Audrey cannot help but laugh at their antics even as she takes the opportunity to ogle Duke. Her ogling is marred by the damage he's collected in the Void. He really took a beating in there. There’s painful purple bruises on Duke’s ass, (what a fine ass it is, though) and scattered down the backs of his legs. Nathan gets them with the icy hot while Audrey kneels up intending to continue the massage Nathan started in the living room.That’s when she gets a good view of Duke’s back for the first time since he lost his shirt.

There are aether prints everywhere.

She’d forgotten. How could she have forgotten?

She counts four solid hand prints that she knows will fit her own fingers perfectly if she were to place her hands over them. She has a moment of pure irrational anger at Nathan for not reacting to them, not saying anything, not warning her! Then she remembers _he can’t see them_. She freezes for a moment, not sure what to do. She wants to take the icy hot from Nathan and rub it into the prints but it will do no good she knows. The ache is worse than skin deep in these marks.

Well, she’s made the move now, she can’t just stay here with her hands up, they’ll start to wonder what’s wrong.

So she ghosts her palms down his sides, avoiding the prints, avoids thinking about how the prints got there because wow, is that an uncomfortable thought. She kneels up and goes back to work on his shoulders that are blessedly free of Mara’s dark marks. It hurts where she’s pressing on the cuts on her knees but it’s worth it when Duke groans and melts into the bed a little more. Nathan’s fingers dig into the muscles of his calves and soon Duke is all but butter under their hands. Audrey works the knots out of his back with determination, she can’t fix the prints but she can help with this at least. He must be sore from sitting up all night and that fall and a hundred other reasons.

She moves carefully around the prints, all along the smooth lines of his back, dissolving the tension in his muscles. Audrey finally has to sit back on her heels when she can feel her pulse in her abused knees and she starts worrying the cuts will open again. Bleeding on your sheets does not say sexy. She smooths her hand down the dip of Duke’s spine, a hesitant caress, curves a little to avoid the edges of a print. Does it again in reverse.

Duke rolls over.

Audrey's gaze darts to just above his heart but her print is mercifully gone. Maybe it faded, she doesn't know. There’s one more hand print still, low on his hip, she thought it was a scrape before in the low light but she sees the fingers now, curving around his side. She can’t pry her gaze off it.

Audrey clenches her jaw so hard her teeth grind together.

Duke’s eyes are kind when he cups her cheek. “It’s okay Audrey,” he says, gently enough to bring tears to her eyes. “They don’t hurt.”

They both know this is a lie.

_Of all the wounds Duke has endured these are some of the worst._

Audrey shakes her head, ignoring how that dislodges a tear and nudges Duke over again onto his belly. She presses kisses to the hand prints instead, tender and reverent, his skin warm and soft and _alive_ despite everything. Duke lays still and lets her while Nathan sits at the foot of the bed silent and watchful.

It's not fair. It's too much. She doesn't know what she would change if she could, how she could have stopped any of this from playing out. She only wishes she could have spared them. Duke with his tender heart. Nathan with his gentle spirit.

When she pulls away Duke turns over and goes to his knees, kissing her with heat now, tongue sliding out to play with hers. Audrey kisses him back, pressing herself all along the solid lines of his torso, the kiss spiraling into something frantic and fierce, she wants to lose herself in the kiss, she's had enough emotion for the evening. They strip her shirt over her head so her hair falls down her back and over his hands. Nathan moves behind her, dropping kisses along the side of her neck while Duke plunders her mouth and palms her breasts in his big hands. Audrey is pressed between her boys, between their wide chests, their strong arms around her. They are big men by any standards but she doesn’t feel trapped, instead she feels _safe_ , _cherished_ , with Nathan nuzzling her shoulder and Duke dropping kisses along her jaw. There's no room to doubt that they're really here when they're both pressed up against her, their heat driving away the lingering chill of the void.

Nathan’s hand comes around and guides Duke’s into pinching her nipples with just the right amount of pressure that she likes. She has _both_ their hands on her at the same time. The thought makes Audrey shiver, sends a shot of pleasure directly to her core.

 _Both_ of them.

She gets to keep them _both_.

She gets to be incredibly frustrated by them both.

They won't speed up. They're determined to draw this out. When Audrey sneaks a hand into Nathan's sweats she finds him hot and hard but he sucks on her earlobe and shifts his hips away.

"Not yet, Parker," he rumbles against her ear, making her shiver. "Let us take care of you," he instructs and hell, how can she refuse that.

They ease her down to the mattress, working as well together in this as in every other area of their lives. Nathan settles on her left and Duke on her right, both of them on their sides. Nathan leans in to kiss her now, smooth and practiced. It’s the confidence in his movements that does it for her, she loves when Nathan is sure of himself. And tonight he has every reason to be. He knows her, knows just what she likes.

Nathan draws his fingers down her side, over her ribs, ghosting over the bruises she carries. She half expects him to bust out the icy hot on her but thankfully he doesn’t. He’s doing wonders for taking her mind off the ache anyway, arousal sending endorphins rushing through her system. His big hand fits itself finally, perfectly, around her breast and Duke’s joins it a moment later on the right, mimicking Nathan’s movements. They cup, and squeeze, and pinch at her nipples, Duke’s touch an echo of Nathan’s and it is… Audrey sucks in a heavy breath, forces her eyes open, not sure when they fell shut. She has to look, has to see the two of them - Nathan’s long narrow fingers are paler than Duke’s, Duke’s are thicker, he’s got callouses in different places. Audrey takes in another long breath through her nose, it’s a lot it’s almost overwhelming really, the sight of _both_ their hands on her…

They both move down the bed, dropping sucking kisses across the sensitive flesh of the tops of her breasts, slow and teasing. Nathan sucks her nipple into his mouth first and Duke a moment later. She pushes her fingers through their hair, Nathan’s short, scruffy brown and Duke’s dark locks, holding on. Audrey throws back her head and closes her eyes on too much, _good_ , but too much. Her breath comes in sharp pants now. She’s close already just from this, she should slow down, savor the moment, this is their first night all together and that's important but she cannot help arching into their hands, cannot stop her hips rocking off the bed, seeking friction, seeking _more_. But they're not stopping either, giving her more. Nathan’s hand trails down her stomach with Duke’s following the same path moments later. Their index fingers swirl around her belly button, making Audrey's stomach muscles clench, the tension within her skin ratchets higher and higher with each circle. She opens her eyes to find them both staring in fascination at their hands on her skin. It’s a pretty picture. Their big, wide hands could easily span the width of her waist.

She watches them chase each other and tangle their fingers around her navel before Nathan draws off dragging his finger down, down, down over her mound, tracing her slit through the cotton of her panties. Audrey’s clit throbs at the touch, demanding more and now. Duke’s finger follows Nathan’s path a moment later, making her shudder, making her groan, making her _want_. They tease her with gossamer light touches each repeating the pattern of strokes in turn.  "Nathan! Duke!" she keens. Audrey forces her eyes open again, she wants to see. She finds Nathan's grinning at Duke and Duke's grinning at Nathan. They're both so smugly pleased with themselves that she has to bite her lip not to laugh, but they're _teasing_ and Audrey is not a patient woman.

“This is nice and all boys,” she says, startling both of them into looking up at her, “but if someone doesn’t get me off soon I’m going to take matters into my own hands,” she threatens.

Nathan huffs out a laugh and ducks his head. Duke smirks, leans over and kisses her quick and bright. Whatever darkness he’s hiding in his eyes has disappeared for now, they’re focused on her in the here and now and Audrey is so grateful. She kisses him back but peels her underwear off her own damn self, kicking it off the end of the bed.

Duke’s fingers comb over her pubic hair on their own without Nathan’s lead, traces the seam of her lips down to where she’s wet and slick and Audrey shivers again. His fingers take their time exploring her folds, stroking and teasing, so good and yet nowhere near where she wants it most. She glances over to find Nathan watching them both, gaze hooded and hungry. Fuck. She likes that. Likes knowing Nathan's watching while Duke touches her. Audrey's eyes fall shut and she flexes her hips making sure Nathan can see just what Duke's doing. "Stop messing around, Duke," she groans impatiently. She hears them both chuckle. Duke leans in and kisses her, lips soft and insistent, distracting her with soft nips and that deft tongue and she bets he's going to be fandamntastic at going down on her but that's for later, she just wants him to touch her now, she wants them both touching her now.

"Shhh, Audrey, we got you," Duke murmurs and Audrey realizes with a start she's been babbling the words out loud.

Duke kisses her again and he finally, finally, draws his finger up to find her clit. There’s more pressure than before and Audrey opens her eyes to peek at what’s going on. Nathan’s hand is on the back of Duke’s, showing him the circles she likes. She smiles into the kiss with Duke who smiles back against her lips so they’re grinning more than kissing. Nathan nudges Duke’s finger into just the right spot against her clit and she gasps and squirms into their hands.

“Shit,” she curses, “don’t stop.” It’s meant to be an order but it comes out a breathless whimper.

Duke’s kiss turns into a proud smirk and Audrey bites his lower lip.

“Just wait til it’s your turn,” she promises, rocking her hips up into their touch despite the sting of the cuts on her knees when she flexes.

“Counting on it,” Duke agrees, his voice a delicious rough purr that touches her in all the right places.

Nathan kisses her shoulder and drags Duke’s finger down to her entrance, no more teasing. The two slip in together like they’ve been practicing for months; smooth, even thrusts that make Audrey gasp and writhe, toes curling against the sheets.

Nathan sets the rhythm, two short, one deep, just like she likes it, and Duke keeps time with him. She cracks an eyelid to find his quick brown eyes watching her carefully, studying her reactions. Audrey blushes, bites her lip, suddenly overwhelmed. Duke’s staring like he’s going to be quizzed on this, like learning her body, what brings her pleasure, is the most important thing he’ll do today.  

“Crook your finger, find her g spot,” Nathan rumbles at Duke who complies, making Audrey see stars. She closes her eyes, throws back her head and lets herself just feel. This morning she was cold and hungry and more than half convinced they were all going to die. Now she's warm and dry and safe and so fucking close to coming.

Nathan’s free hand goes to her clit, even with her eyes closed she can tell it’s his. “Just one finger now when she’s close,” he instructs Duke “or it’ll be too much.” His voice is a tight, dark, rasp that brings her orgasm closer as much as his finger running those tight, tiny circles over her clit. He’s giving away all her secrets to Duke but Audrey can’t mind. It's intense, their scrutiny, their eyes on her, the way they're moving in concert building her pleasure.

Audrey whimpers through her nose, heat coiling in her stomach as they make her come just like she asked, hands moving in tandem to bring her to the edge. "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop," she chants. And they don't, they take her right over, two short, one deep, two short, one deep, she feels full, stretched taut around their fingers, precious and loved beneath their lips. The orgasm hits on a deep stroke, quick and bright, spilling over her before she even really knows it’s going to hit but it rolls on and on, leaves her buzzing, limbs loose, body spent, mind blessedly blank for long, delicious moments.

When she opens her eyes the boys have their wet fingers laying on her thighs and are kissing over her panting form. She’s honestly surprised she’s still awake. Nathan pulls away first, leans down to kiss her next. When the kiss breaks he holds her gaze and brings his still damp finger to Duke’s mouth, traces the seam of Duke’s lips. Duke doesn’t disappoint, he sucks Nathan’s finger in slowly.

Audrey groans throwing an arm up over her eyes but not actually blocking her sight line.

“Stop it,” she orders. “I’m tired. I want to sleep. I don’t want to go again and that is unfairly hot!” she complains;

Duke lets Nathan’s finger go with a pop and a wink. “Your loss,” he says smugly, kissing Nathan with her taste on his mouth.

It’s a great kiss. Audrey lays there and enjoys the view. They’re kneeling over her so she’s got abs galore in her line of sight as well as Duke’s erection, tall and proud, bobbing against his stomach, and the hard line of Nathan’s pressed against his sweat pants. Nathan’s got an assortment of bruises of his own but he’s not likely to let them put anything on them. Still, Audrey takes them in so she doesn’t poke them accidentally later.

Duke’s got his hands in Nathan’s hair but Nathan’s hands are wandering Duke’s torso, tracing up and down his sides. She’s kind of amazed how much it doesn’t bother her seeing the two of them like this. They’ve always been a matched set though, even when they were fighting there was this connection between them. She’s not jealous and she doesn’t feel left out, she kinda feels… complete. Like this is what was missing. Like Duke is what was missing. They’d tipped the scales out of balance when she and Nathan got together, they’ve been functioning, but it’s all been off kilter and now she knows why.

Audrey finds the strength to get back to her knees and plasters herself all along Nathan’s back, letting him feel the press of her breasts, the tickle of her hair, the warmth of her skin. She thoroughly distracts him from kissing Duke, basically. He turns to her with a little whine – fuck, that’s hot- and kisses her like a drowning man holds onto a life preserver. It sends a shiver down her spine, the way Nathan loves her, with his whole being. She doesn’t know what to do with it sometimes and other times she can’t believe she ever lived without it.

Audrey kisses Nathan, sucks on his lower lip a long moment and then pulls away to smack his ass.

“Teach me how to get Duke off,” she orders and Nathan gives her that slow grin of his, this one is full of mischief and anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a fav part? Let me know in the comments


	13. Duke

Duke was not expecting that. He was not expecting them to turn on him, anticipation and glee writ large on their faces. He’d expected… he’d expected hot, sweaty fucking that took all of ten minutes, not this playful, drawn out interlude. He hadn’t expected Nathan to talk him through all of Audrey’s sweet spots like he’s going to need to know them in the future, hadn’t expected Audrey to like that as much as she did. He hadn’t expected the sharing and communication to continue, Audrey and Nathan aren’t the most chatty people outside of the bedroom after all.

And now here they are, all that intensity and drive, focused on him.

Duke finds he doesn’t actually know what to do with that, so when Nathan pushes him to the mattress he goes without protest. He ends up caged in between Nathan’s biceps, with Nathan grinning down at him in what Duke is sure is supposed to be a wolfish manner. It isn't particularly wolfish at all. Nathan being his impossibly uncool-self settles Duke some though, enough to send a fond hand through Nathan’s hair.

“Been a while,” his voice is a rasp but it comes out steady, “sure you remember?” a tease and a challenge but a small part of him has to wonder.

Nathan scoffs at him. “You? You’re easy,” he says and winks, sending relief flooding through Duke.

“Nathan Wuornos, did you actually just wink at him?” Audrey heckles from the side.

Nathan blushes and hunches his shoulders.

“That was adorable!” she teases, “do it again!”

Duke chuckles, stroking a hand over Audrey's knee. Nathan huffs out a small laugh and then moves to nose under Duke’s earlobe. “He likes it when you pay attention to his ears,” he tells Audrey and sucks a series of quick kisses there that make Duke’s erection twitch. Nathan’s bare stomach brushes his every time they inhale at the same time and that’s...distracting. Almost as distracting as the way the fabric of Nathan’s sweat pants fall against Duke’s legs and the fact that if Duke rocked up just a little his erection would be pressed right up against Nathan’s. It’s a delicious tease until Duke remembers Nathan can’t feel it too.

Duke hates that. Hates it. He can’t let that stand. Duke bucks his hips, rocking Nathan on top of him. Nathan can’t feel the same spark of pleasure that shoots up Duke’s spine when their dicks grind together but he knows they’re touching, knows Duke likes what he’s doing. Duke makes sure to groan into Nathan’s ear. He has to know.

Nathan chuckles, a warm, proud laugh that Duke feels reverberating through his own chest. "Right behind the lobe’s the most sensitive,” he tells Audrey. He sounds so pleased and accomplished that Duke rocks his hips again, shifting Nathan’s whole center of gravity. Nathan rocks down against him, pins him to the bed with his full weight and fuck if that doesn’t do it for Duke, his breath comes in on a gasp he can’t contain. Nathan kisses the corner of his mouth, eyes bright and grinning before his gaze flicks to Audrey who’s watching with rapt attention. There’s a flush staining her neck and spreading across her chest. She likes what she sees, Duke grins with the knowledge.

“Can play with temperature, too. Lick a spot then blow on it, watch what he does,” Nathan directs, dropping another sucking kiss there before Duke’s even processed that he’s speaking again. Audrey bends on Duke’s other side to lave her tongue against the skin right behind his earlobe too, the double sensations ripple straight down Duke’s spine to pool low in his belly. She blows on her spot, a cool breath that makes Duke shiver, his hips rocking into Nathan’s, the motion providing delicious friction.

“Like that?” she asks Nathan, her eyes full of mischief.

“Hey,” Duke grouses, “I’m still here, y’know,” he complains.

“Hush,” Audrey says, kissing him quickly, dismissively, then turns her attention back to Nathan.

Duke huffs and drops his head back against the bed. “Fine, don’t ask me th-” his complaint cuts off on an inarticulate noise as Nathan draws a finger down the column of Duke’s neck and hits a sweet spot.

Audrey copies him again, draws her own line down the opposite side. Again, the double sensations make Duke shiver. He watches her eyes darken with arousal in response and his breath comes heavier. Duke is well aware that he likes being watched, he’s finding out how much he likes that Audrey likes watching him.

“His nipples aren’t very sensitive but he does like it when you pinch them,” Nathan rumbles, voice heavier than ever with arousal.

He shifts to the side to give them room. Duke is arching off the bed practically before Nathan can make good on his promise of twisting the dark nub. When he does his callused fingers are careful but firm and the pressure makes him swear, it's so good. His cock aches with the pleasure of it all, his eyes fall shut.

“Biting’s good too?” he hears Audrey ask and before he can answer she’s setting her teeth lightly around Duke’s left nipple.

He squirms and gasps an appreciative “Audrey!” pleasure lancing through him like lightning, making him forget the throbbing in his hip and the ache in his jaw, sending new tremors through his thighs.

Nathan chuckles low and deep, “yep,” he agrees, voice full of secret trysts and all the things he remembers about Duke. And Duke… Duke remembers those things too. Remembers discovering them with Nathan.

“He’s ticklish by his ribs,” Nathan warns, dragging his fingers down the center of Duke’s torso.

Duke’s head snaps around to give Nathan an affronted look.

“Aha!” Audrey crows and wiggles her fingers threateningly at him. She doesn’t follow through though, she chooses to taunt him in a different way. Her fingers drag down his belly on the same path as Nathan’s. They coast around his belly button, each rotation ratchets the tension building in his gut tighter and tighter. Duke’s so hard now it almost hurts, if either of their hands slipped even a little they’d brush his erection and just the thought of that makes him groan.

“Don’t worry,” Nathan rumbles, “he likes the tease.”

Audrey chuckles through her nose, wicked and bright and so Audrey it hurts. She's inimitable, their Audrey Parker.

“His hipbones, now,” Nathan dips his head and sucks a kiss onto Duke’s hipbone, pulling him out of his thoughts, “those are where you can really tease him.”

Nathan's lips are soft and warm, his hair tickles Duke's stomach as he mouths over his hipbones. He's not lying either, the skin stretched taut over the bones is sensitive, Nathan's kisses sending sparks of pleasure to coil deep in Duke's belly.

“So close,” Duke whines, not sure if he means their proximity or how far away he is from coming. It’d be embarrassing but he isn’t telling.

“And yet so far away,” Audrey replies cheerfully before tracing her tongue down the vee of Duke’s abs.

Duke holds himself so very, very still. If he moved even an inch he’s not sure he wouldn’t just give himself the four strokes it’d take to get off. Audrey takes pity on him or rewards his self-control whichever, he doesn’t know, all he does know is her pink tongue is slipping out to swipe hot and slick over his tip, soft little licks that make Duke’s blood pressure skyrocket, he groans long and loud, fingers curling in the sheets.

"Audrey-" he gasps. He'd put away all thoughts of anything like this happening between them so long ago...

“Parker, Parker, Parker,” Nathan scolds. When she and Duke glance up he’s got his arms folded across his bare chest, face as stern as he can make it. “You’re getting ahead of the class,” he chides.

Audrey grins and after one last sucking kiss pulls back.

“I thought she was doing fine,” Duke protests as she pulls away.

They’re back to ignoring him though.

“By all means, Professor Wuornos,” Audrey gestures for him to go ahead, “show us how it’s done,” she challenges.

Nathan fixes her a look and Duke huffs an exasperated laugh at these two, they might actually be competing over getting him off. Duke would complain but he’s pretty sure he’s the actual winner here.

Audrey stretches out along his side, lays her head on his shoulder – all soft curves and silky hair sliding against him. Duke rubs a hand down her back, enjoying her smooth, warm skin under his fingertips. Audrey presses a kiss to his shoulder, an absent buss of affection, her eyes already focused on Nathan. The kiss makes Duke’s breath catch in his throat in an entirely different way.

Nathan gives him a soft inquiring look. Duke shakes his head, he’s fine. He runs his hand down Audrey’s back again and arches a teasing eyebrow at Nathan in a ‘well?’ gesture.

Nathan scowls at him briefly, then finally, finally, reaches out a hand to close around the base of Duke’s shaft. Duke doesn’t shamelessly thrust into it only because he’s got more cool than that, but he wants to. He really wants to.

“Tell me if I do this too hard,” Nathan instructs and Duke bites back no less than three flip remarks to nod seriously. Nathan addressing his Trouble, even obliquely, is important. They’re not going to get anywhere if they pretend Nathan doesn’t have limitations. That doesn’t mean they can’t find ways to work around it.

Nathan drags his hand excruciatingly slowly up Duke’s cock, swirls it around the tip just fucking so, so Duke’s toes curl all on their own. He drags it back down all the way to the base and glances at Duke from under his eyebrows, checking in. Duke nods, a quick jerk of his head, that’s all he can manage.

Nathan smiles, slow and pleased and more than a little turned on, his pupils are blown wide and Duke can hear his breath coming shaky and fast. Nathan drags his hand slowly, oh so slowly up Duke’s cock again and then back down, intense gaze laser focused on the sight of Duke's cock disappearing beneath his fingers. It is -Duke sucks in a deep breath as Nathan does it another time- it's pretty fucking hot Duke will admit as Nathan strokes him again and again, building to an achingly drawn out rhythm that makes Duke's teeth clench on how damn good it is.

“He likes it slow,” Nathan tells Audrey with a devious smirk that conveys he’s well aware that Duke likes no such thing. Duke gives up on a whine, buries his face in Audrey’s hair, fingers twitching on the blankets barely restraining himself from grabbing Nathan’s hand and moving it himself. He won't though, he won't because he doesn't want his own touch he wants Nathan's. Duke exhales shaky and sharp and opens his eyes again, he has to watch. _Nathan Wuornos_ is jacking him off. Of all the strange and unlikely things that have happened to him in the last two days, (seriously he was attacked by a whale!) this is probably the least likely. Duke exhales hard through his nose, keeping it together through force of will.

Audrey turns her head and kisses Duke’s cheek then sits up and moves down the bed. His side is immediately cold. He can’t miss her too much though because she’s wrapping her hand immediately behind Nathan’s. “So, like this then?” she asks wicked amusement in her voice, soft fingers following Nathan’s on their trek up and down.

Duke squirms and Nathan grins, voice dark and breathy as he agrees, “yeah, just like that.”

Duke starts counting in sevens in French, just because the French numeracy system is the most distracting thing he can think of.

“Think he likes that it’s both of us?” Audrey asks, “Stroking his cock,” she pops the last syllable of the word for them with a smirk. “Getting him hard. I wish you could feel how hard he is for us,” Audrey twists her wrist on the stroke. Duke can’t help it, he’s panting now. Audrey Parker is talking dirty.

Nathan makes a low “mmmm” sound, a little overwhelmed himself probably. He looks up from his intense study of Duke’s tip disappearing into their fingers, locks eyes with Duke. “I remember,” he promises, and that hits Duke like a punch in the gut, ratchets his arousal from a nine straight up to a twelve.

Duke gives a shaky laugh, “I-” he gasps as they reach the end of the upstroke, Nathan’s palm swirling around the head of his cock and then Audrey’s. “I might be enjoying that,” he tells them, blatantly underscoring them, smug grin stretching his cheeks at their outraged looks.

Audrey leans in and kisses the grin right off him, like she’s amused by his taunt, and that’s good but what’s not good is that she lets go of his shaft and Nathan’s hand stills, waiting for her.

“We can do better than might be, can’t we Nathan?” Audrey asks sweetly when she pulls away.

Nathan tilts his head and pretends to consider it. Duke drops his head back onto the pillows and groans. Shit. When you mess with the bull you get the horns. He braces for what’s coming next gleefully.

“Guess we can up our game, Parker,” Nathan agrees, and without warning sucks the head of Duke’s cock into his mouth. Duke doesn’t swallow his tongue but it’s a close thing, the warm, wet heat of Nathan’s mouth is so, so good. Nathan hollows his cheeks and sucks him just the way he’s always done and that’s it. Duke is nearing the end of his self-control, he doesn’t care if they’ve been at this for twenty minutes or two.

Then Audrey is there, her hand on Nathan’s cheek and Duke whines in protest. He’s so close. Nathan looks up at her and they kiss right over the head of Duke’s dick. If he thought he was hard before that was nothing in comparison. Duke drops his head back onto the pillow on a whimper. He refuses to come just from looking at them, damnit.

Audrey cracks an eye to smirk at him. She pulls away from Nathan and fucking winks at Duke, winks! And then she moves so she and Nathan aren’t kissing right above his dick, they’re kissing around it, lips sliding, tongues lapping. Duke swears and throws his head back, muscles straining. Fuck if that’s not one of the hottest things he’s ever seen. He’s done for.

Audrey smiles, he doesn’t see it, he _feels_ it against his cock, so smug, so pleased with herself, and he can’t fault her, she has every reason to be.

Nathan pulls away to murmur, “he’s close, Parker,” and Duke’s heard that same innocuous phrase a dozen times helping out on stakeouts or cases and Duke is never going to be able to hear it again without getting hard.

Audrey pulls away too, and Duke could cry but their hands are back, moving more smoothly now, slick with their saliva.

“Are we gonna let him come?” she asks Nathan.

“Think he wants to?” Nathan replies, completely deadpan and Audrey has to hide her smile in her shoulder.

“Bastard,” Duke whines, even as Nathan’s speeding up, jacking him in earnest now. “So-“ he gasps, “so close,” he whimpers.

“Come on, Duke,” Audrey encourages.

“Come for us,” Nathan orders.

That’s it, Duke’s gone, he thrusts up into their hands in time with their rhythm and barely two, three, four strokes later his orgasm hits. Duke’s eyes roll back in his head as he comes, the pleasure shockingly sharp and so, so good. He jerks and twitches and whines hard through his nose.

Audrey and Nathan keep their hands working on him until he stills.

While Duke’s chest heaves in the aftermath, Nathan cups his palm over Duke’s cock, gentle and protective in a gesture Duke is very familiar with. He used to do the same thing for Nathan, he’d get so sensitive afterward. Duke swallows hard, squeezes his eyes shut and concentrates on his breathing.

He hears scuffling and then Audrey kisses him on the temple and cleans him up with a tissue from the bedside table. Duke cracks an eye open to see her toss the tissue before she wraps herself around him, arm across his chest, leg thrown across his thigh, a warm, soft, grounding weight. Duke runs his hand slowly up and down her back and coasts on the good feelings swirling in his chest, not inspecting any particularly closely or he’ll ruin it with anxiety and worry about tomorrow, for now he’s warm and safe and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a favourite part? Why not tell me in the comments :)


	14. Nathan

Nathan watches Audrey curl around Duke, watches Duke’s arm come up to stroke up and down her back and the only thing he feels is affection. He’d worried he was making a mistake, he’d worried he’d be jealous of one, or the other, or the two of them with each other but he’s not. Watching them together he feels…grateful, _foolish_ he’d waited this long, warm in a way that has nothing to do with actually feeling it. He watches Audrey nuzzle into Duke’s shoulder and smiles to see them both so content.

Duke blinks his eyes open and meets his gaze, he smiles at him slow and open and beautiful.

Nathan swallows hard.

This is Duke, the _real_ Duke, no masks for them.

Nathan can count on the fingers of both hands the number of times he’s seen Duke like this. He squeezes Duke’s knee, wanting to feel connected. Duke gestures him forward with one hand, and Nathan goes without hesitation. Duke wraps his fingers around the back of Nathan’s neck and tugs him into a soft kiss. It’s so light Nathan can barely follow it but he doesn’t press into it, keeps it light and gentle for Duke who’s still coming down.

“Lay down?” Duke husks out, he doesn’t order, doesn’t tease, _asks_ him, his voice sounds raspy and wrecked.

Nathan can’t refuse. They did that to him, made him feel this content. Nathan suppresses the urge to grin with pride. He stretches out along Duke’s free side, wraps his arm across Duke’s torso, curves his hand over Audrey’s hip, a bright press of warmth against his palm. Audrey slides her hand across Duke and onto Nathan’s waist, he can feel the press of each of her fingers, and while he loves that he can feel her, it doesn’t eclipse how he feels about Duke and how he feels about Duke doesn’t change what he feels for Audrey. He doesn’t love one more, he loves them differently.

Nathan stifles the urge to laugh at himself, at how stupid he’s been.

He presses his forehead to Duke’s, solid pressure, he’s _real_ , he’s _there_ . They lay quietly for long moments, sharing the same breath. Nathan can smell the sweet floral notes of Audrey’s shampoo. He can smell Duke’s musk overlaid with Nathan’s own soap. It sends a possessive spark of pleasure through him, Duke smells like him, like _his_. It’s another thought he’s not willing to share but one he basks in just the same.

Duke’s breathing has returned to normal now, Nathan can hear him, slow, even inhales and exhales.

“Okay?” Nathan gruffs out, checking in again, making sure Duke’s not freaking out.

Duke smiles and nods, “yeah,” he says almost shy except Duke is never shy. He leans in and kisses Nathan again, deeper, stronger this time. Nathan keeps his eyes open and kisses him back, carefully cupping the side of Duke’s jaw. He feels Audrey pull away, sees her press up on one elbow to watch, face gleeful and aroused.

It makes Nathan smile into the kiss. He likes that she likes watching them.

When they break apart Duke looks cautious and Nathan braces himself.

“Nate—“ he begins.

“Yeah?” Nathan clamps down on his nerves, keeps his voice slow and measured.

“I gotta ask…” Duke pauses here, clearly uneasy about what he wants to say and Nathan knows what he wants to ask. “Should I… Should Audrey…”

Even if he can’t feel it Nathan knows his whole face closes down.

He pulls away from Duke, sitting up and looking carefully at his lap which was probably a bad choice as it brings him right back to the problem at hand. He can see his erection pressed against the grey fabric of his sweatpants but he _can’t_ feel it. He knows his jaw is clenched but he can’t feel the tic in it. He _can_ feel Duke and Audrey’s curious gazes on him though he wishes he couldn’t. This isn’t something he’s discussed, even with Audrey. He clenches his fists, watches the muscles bunch and tense distantly, feeling uncomfortable and broken and exposed.

Finally he looks up and meets Duke’s gaze squarely. “Want _both_ of you touching me,” he answers, which isn’t an answer but it _is_ , damnit. He hears his voice tick over into stubborn.

Duke and Audrey exchange glances and Nathan would get right up out of the bed and leave if he saw pity on their faces. He would. Instead Duke looks him in the eye and asks point blank “Can you tell if I’m touching you?”

Audrey’s laser focus narrows in on him, waiting for his answer.

He would very much like someone’s Trouble to make the bed open up and swallow him whole. He’d like to be cool and pretend it doesn’t matter, he’d almost prefer it if they just treated him like he was normal, so he could pretend too. The words _forget it, let’s just get some sleep_ are on the tip of his tongue, he could say them, escape the embarrassment, let Duke down, disappoint Audrey, ruin all the progress they’ve made this evening.

Instead he takes a deep breath and does the hard thing. No more taking the easy way out. The stakes are too high. He wants this to work. He wants this to work more than he wants to combust from shame.

“Can still tell if…if there’s pressure or weight,” Nathan explains haltingly, he knows without looking his cheeks and the tips of his ears are red with his embarrassment.

“Just not how much pressure?” Duke clarifies, and when Nathan flicks his gaze to meet Duke’s his brown eyes are serious and intent. He’s _listening_ . He _wants_ to make this good for Nathan. So, Nathan sucks in a breath and helps.

“No,” he grits out, eyes focused on the walls, the sheets, anywhere but Duke’s face. Carefully avoids Audrey’s curious gaze. “Can tell. Just-- no pleasure, no pain, no temperature, no texture,” Words he’s never said before to anyone but furrowed browed doctors tumble out. “Nothing. Like I’m wearing winter clothes I can’t take off, touching everything through gloves! Like I’m a goddamn ghost! Like I’m not even real!” Frustration colors his tone, despair wells in his veins, bitter and potent, must paint itself across his face even though he can’t tell, because Duke rushes to stop him.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Duke cups Nathan’s jaw, halting the wave of embarrassing navel gazing. “It’s alright,” he promises and Nathan feels a hot rush of shame at needing to be soothed. “I just needed to know,” Duke’s tone is just shy of apologetic, and that makes Nathan feel worse. Duke kisses Nathan, a rush of shampoo scent and dark lashes in Nathan’s vision. He’s trying to be reassuring. But Nathan can’t feel it. He can’t feel it but he wants to. He _wants_ to. He just wants to be normal, damnit. Duke pulls away and even though Nathan couldn’t feel the kiss, a wave of dread washes over him. He shouldn’t have suggested this. He should’ve waited, should’ve thought this through. What the hell was he – Duke shakes him, literally, pulls him back to the present.

“Listen, you’ve got four other senses, Nate,” he scolds. “If you don’t think I can work with that, then you’re severely underestimating my talents,” he waggles his eyebrows at Nathan suggestively, but his eyes are soft, concerned.

Nathan huffs out a laugh for Duke, because he’s trying, and it sounds like it hurts, sounds like he can’t help it but Duke’s lips quirk up at the edges.

“Just keep your eyes open, okay?” Duke asks, holding his gaze.

Nathan nods, not sure what the hell else to do. With Jordan he hadn’t been the focus, he could spend the whole time making it good for her and that was fine. With Jess they’d pretended he was normal. With Audrey-- he glances to her and she looks… proud. Nathan drops his gaze again. He’d bulldozed around her questions when she was split and he couldn’t feel her. Flat out told her it didn’t matter because in most ways it didn’t, he loved her and he’d been so grateful to have her back. She’d let him get away with it. That should’ve been a glaring red flag that something was up. Audrey Parker faces the truth no matter how awful. He’d been too grateful to question it. He’d wanted so badly to forget he was broken.

Duke gets his hand on Nathan’s chin, tilts it up, eyebrows raised.

Nathan really hates the question in Duke’s eyes so he lunges in and kisses him, hard and fast, tongues tangling.

Duke pushes him back after a moment, gentle pressure, breathing hard now. “You taste like whiskey,” he tells Nathan, the words rough and breathless. He leans in and kisses him again, a soft, brief press. “And bacon,” he adds with a grin, tongue slipping out to lick at his own lips as if chasing Nathan’s taste. It sends a surge of want through Nathan. He moves in and kisses Duke, less frantic, softer, searching.

“Same,” he says, “whiskey and bacon,” he kisses Duke again, softer still. “And Duke, under all that, just Duke,” he traces his numb fingers down the planes of Duke’s face, careful of the bruise on his jaw, finds the courage to meet Duke’s gaze. Duke smiles at him encouraging and pleased as Nathan takes up the thread. Duke’s eyes are amber in the lamplight, warm and golden, so far away from the empty blackness in the Void.

Nathan sucks in a deep, settling breath and nods at Duke. He glances to Audrey and she nods too, smiling softly at them, delight in her face, like they’ve just handed her a pile of unlimited search warrants.

She thought he was going to clam up and freak out, he realizes. He doesn’t blame her but he wants to do better.

He leans in and kisses Duke again, concentrates on his four working senses. “You smell like me, though,” Nathan tells him and lets a slow, possessive smile stretch across his face, let’s them see it. “My shampoo, my soap, even my detergent,” Nathan inhales again, rubs a hand over his face a little embarrassed. “Like that,” he confesses shyly, like it’s such a revelation.

Duke doesn’t look like he objects at all. He looks a little flustered actually, on anyone else it might’ve been a blush.

“Missed you,” Nathan blurts on a wave of sentiment, the words come unbidden but fervent, the emotions must be plain on his face, “more’n just when you were gone,” he adds, and he knows he’s going to keep talking, not sure what else is going to come falling out but Duke takes his breath away.

“Me too,” Duke gruffs out, closes his eyes like it’s too much to hear, nuzzles Nathan’s temple. He means it, he missed Nathan too. Nathan’s breath comes out in a whoosh.

Audrey and Duke nudge Nathan back against the pillows. Before Audrey can pull away he catches her hand, pulls her in for a kiss, warm and soft and slick, an explosion of his senses.

“You taste like Parker,” he tells her when they part, carding his fingers through her satin soft hair. “Bacon and that mouthwash you like and Audrey.”

She smiles surprised and sweet and pleased at him. Nathan grins back. She smoothes the hair back from his forehead, a tender gesture that makes his breath catch. Audrey is playful, she’s sarcastic, she’s mischievous but she rarely lets herself be _soft_ , protecting herself he supposes. Not that he would know anything about that, of course.

Audrey glances back at Duke and they hold a wordless conversation.

“Pass me another pillow?” Audrey finally asks and Duke obliges. She gives it to Nathan who stuffs it behind his head. He arches his eyebrows at them.

“Now what?” he demands.

“Now, just lay back and enjoy the show,” Duke instructs with a wink.

Nathan really doesn’t know what else to do so he watches. He watches, eyes locked with Duke, as Duke bends over to drop kisses across his pecs.

“You taste,” Duke drops a kiss right over Nathan’s heart, “like Nathan, salty and a little soapy still from the shower.”

“What about here?” Audrey asks, pressing a spot lower on Nathan’s ribcage. Her touch is like a stone thrown into a pond, fireworks in the night, bright and hot and resonating. When Duke kisses the same spot a moment later Nathan can almost swear he feels the softness of his lips.

“Mmm, still Nathan-y,” Duke confirms, making them all chuckle.

“And here?” Audrey touches another spot, and then another, each one progressively lower, Duke follows behind, kissing each one. Nathan can hear his breathing change, shortening, sharpening as Duke’s dark head bobs lower, his lips moving closer and closer to Nathan's waistband.

Duke never breaks eye contact with Nathan and that helps too, Nathan can see how into this he is, how eager, it’s heady knowing Duke wants him this much.

“Can see how wide your pupils’re blown,” Nathan tells him, startling Duke. Duke opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again, chagrined. Nathan almost shuts up again, almost calls the whole thing off but Duke drops another kiss low on his hip, again without breaking their gaze. “Hear you panting.”  

“Think I might be into this?” Duke smirks, bringing up his hand to flirt with the drawstring of Nathan’s sweats.

Nathan laughs, sure he must be blushing. “Maybe,” he agrees.

Duke grins, bright and quick and honest. “It’s possible,” he admits.

Audrey takes advantage of his distraction and licks a hot stripe up Nathan’s neck, sucks his earlobe into her mouth and Nathan gasps, the pleasure sharp and deep, shooting through him everywhere at once, like she’s touching his dick but she isn’t. Isn’t anywhere near it.

She pulls off with a pop as suddenly as she started. “Can Duke take off your pants?” she asks, her voice a low purr. “Do you want him to?”

Nathan nods, give them a shaky “yeah.”

Duke takes his time, undoing the knot in the drawstring, he looks up at them from under his eyelashes with a cat that ate the canary smile that Nathan wants to kiss right off his smug face.

“What’s he gonna find under there Nathan?” Audrey continues teasing. “Are you hard for us?” she asks, brushing her hand over the erection that is clearly tenting his sweats. Nathan whines through his nose, he could feel that if the cotton weren’t in the way. He lifts his hips and lets Duke tug the pants off him so his cock springs up.

He’s red and swollen, there’s precum at the tip already.

He has been waiting a long time.

“This for me, Nate?” Duke asks, wrapping his hand around the base of Nathan’s shaft. “Look at you,” Duke shakes his head and smiles. “You’re hot and hard and so close already, aren’t you? Did I help get you this way?”

Nathan nods jerkily, all powers of speech left him at the sight of Duke’s hand on his dick.

“What do you want him to do?” Audrey asks, drawing random patterns on Nathan’s chest with a fingertip, distracting him. “Do you want him to jack you off?” she asks and Duke immediately follows her words, moving his hand in a smooth up and down stroke.

Nathan has to admit that the sight of Duke’s hand on his dick is doing it for him. He likes it.

“He likes it when you pay attention to his frenulum,” Audrey tells Duke.

Duke strokes his thumb over it immediately and Nathan whines low in his throat because he knows what that would feel like if he could feel it, Duke’s callused thumb brushing so carefully over the tiny strip of skin.

“I remember,” Duke tells Audrey, his eyes still locked on Nathan’s face.

Nathan’s hips twitch involuntarily.

“He liked when I sucked on the head too,” Duke adds, his words dropping like a bomb, arousal making Nathan’s head swim. “Can I do that now, Nate? Would you like that?”

Nathan nods again, breath hitching, he can hear his own pulse thudding in his ears, wonders if Duke can feel it pounding in his dick.

Duke moves so he’s got a better angle and can still watch Nathan watching him as he lets the head of Nathan’s cock slip between his lips with a wet thwip sound that makes Nathan groan, deep in his chest.

“Again?” Duke asks, and he’s so fucking pleased with himself, Nathan can hear it in his voice.

“Please,” Nathan croaks out, he can’t deny Duke should be.

Duke swallows him again, bobbing his head, making sure Nathan can see exactly what he’s doing.

“Look at the both of you,” Audrey sighs, “such a pretty picture.” She threads her fingers into Duke’s hair, not guiding, just to touch. “He’s enjoying that,” she tells Nathan like it’s not fucking obvious. “Enjoying how much you like the sight of him going down on you, sucking you off. Are you enjoying it, Nathan?” she demands.

Nathan gives her a strangled, “yes”.

Audrey kisses the side of his head.

Duke hums in response. He pulls off with a pop.

“Can I get a consult, Detective Parker?” Duke asks, hand moving smoothly up and down Nathan’s erection now slick with his saliva.

Audrey peels herself away from Nathan’s side to sit near his hip.

Duke makes a production of tangling his fingers with Audrey’s before Nathan’s wide eyes. He leads their hands to hover just over the tip of Nathan’s dick, pauses for a long moment, building the tension. Then he drags her index finger down the length of it making Nathan buck and shout.

“Shit! Fuck! Duke!”

Duke grins. “He’s close, Audrey,” he tells her, like it’s a secret, eyes dancing, “should we let him come?”

Their hands are inches away from Nathan’s straining erection, it bobs with each shaky breath he sucks in.

“I dunno” Audrey tilts her head, pretending to study Nathan, blue eyes wicked with delight in the dim lamplight. “Do you think he wants to?” she teases.

Nathan huffs out a laugh. “Parker,” he groans, voice rough, hips squirming.

“Are you close?” she asks, dragging her and Duke’s index fingers down Nathan’s cock. Fuck, he can almost feel the ghost of Duke’s warmth and pressure combined with the hot, soft press of Audrey’s fingers.

“Close,” he agrees through gritted teeth, staring at their hands. At his words Duke wraps his fingers around Audrey’s and closes them around Nathan’s cock. Audrey’s thin fingers overlapping Duke’s big, tanned fingers, Duke’s fingers overlapping Audrey’s, both of them, together.  He can’t feel the orgasm building in the pit of his stomach like he used to, can’t feel his chest heaving with the breaths he can hear echoing in his ears, can’t feel his toes curling and uncurling but he can feel their grip on his dick, he can feel the electric current of pleasure in each stroke.

He wants to tell them that, to tell them how good it is, how intense, how much it matters that they’re working with his Trouble, how he doesn’t feel like he’s messing it all up anymore, how much he loves them, how much it matters that it’s both of them, that they’re both with him but it’s too much. It’s all too much. All that comes out is a strangled, “Hnnngh.”

Audrey arches her eyebrows at Duke who waggles his back at her, making her grin.

“Please,” Nathan whines, not even sure what he’s asking for anymore.

“How can we say no when he asked so nice?” Duke acquiesces.

“Can’t say no to that,” Audrey agrees, mischief in her eyes and hands.

They jack him, fast and hard, too close to the end to do anything but. Audrey lets Duke set the pace, lets him control how tight she grips Nathan. It’s not the same, it’s not the same as feeling both of them but it’s good, it’s so damn good. It’s _Audrey_ and it’s _Duke_ . Nathan’s cock aches in their grasp, pleasure concentrated under the touch of their hands, made more potent by the fact that he can’t feel it anywhere else. He can see the muscles in his thighs tight and tense, knows his calves and toes are taut but all he can feel are Audrey’s fingers, her grip so different wrapped in Duke’s hand. The rhythm is all Duke too, he recognizes it, and it makes a difference, _such_ a difference.

He forces his eyes open once more, watches them watching him. Their eyes are focused on their task, staring hungrily as the red tip of his cock pops out and disappears into the tunnel of their hands faster and faster. Duke licks his lips unconsciously and Nathan whines deep in his throat.

Audrey glances up and whatever’s on his face makes her grin.

“Is it good, Nathan?” she asks facetiously. Nathan laughs breathlessly because her eyes are bright with mischief after being so somber and scared the last two days. He loves her. Even when she’s torturing him when he’s thirty seconds away from coming.

“Sure we shouldn’t stop? Try something else?” Duke puts in, and he’s got on that teasing grin that Nathan’s found so obnoxious the last few years but Nathan knows he isn’t being cruel, knows he’s joking gently, inviting Nathan to joke too. Nathan chuckles, with him, shakes his head against the pillow, soft cotton rustling in his ears.

“S’good,” he whines. “ _So_ good. Don’t stop. Don’t stop!” The words are almost a shout and then Nathan is jerking and thrusting up into their combined grip, coming and coming and coming over their fingers with a shout. A heavy wash of contentment spreads through him leaving his thoughts a sluggish mess

They stroke him a few more times, gentling him down from his high but it’s _too much_ , and Nathan can’t stop a hiss of pain escaping his lips. Audrey slips her hand out from under Duke’s, and Nathan never wants her to stop touching him but he’s so _sensitive_ right now. Duke doesn’t let go though, he cups his hand over Nathan’s softening cock the way he’s always done, gentle and protective. Nathan has to close his eyes, the sight making his breath stutter in his chest.

With his eyes closed Nathan drifts, listening to his panting breaths start to come slower and slower, his heartbeat decelerates, no longer thundering in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a favourite part? I'd love to hear about it


	15. Audrey

Audrey grins fondly at Nathan, spread boneless across their sheets, hair mussed, cheeks pink, chest heaving. He looks _wrecked_. It’s one of her favorite looks on him. She kneels up over Nathan to kiss Duke, hoping he reads how proud she is of him in the press of her lips. His hands are warm and careful on her face, lips curved in a smug grin under her own. She can’t help answering it. They did good.

Duke cleans Nathan up, and then wipes her sticky palm for her with such tenderness it brings a lump to her throat. Duke cares so damn much. That’s why she’d been so hurt when he left. She’d come to expect him to care, to show it – but she hadn’t shown she cared much in return. He presses a soft kiss to her palm when he’s done, eyes gold in the lamplight, soft and warm. Audrey surges up to her aching knees and kisses him, hard, she wants him to feel it, wants him to know she’s sorry.

He could have said no tonight. He might very well have chosen not to be with them. But he’d taken the leap, he’d allowed himself to be this open, this vulnerable, even after the way they’d treated him. She’s not going to let him down again. She knows he doesn’t trust them when they say this is real, they want him for good. She doesn’t have the words to convince him, not now, not like this, he wouldn’t believe them if she poured it all out for him anyway.

She’s going to do her damnedest to make him believe.

Audrey scratches her nails lightly through the back of Duke’s hair as they kiss, listening to the hitch in his breath and the subtle way he leans into the touch. When they pull away she gives into the urge and smooths the hair off his forehead. Duke looks away when she does, and she realizes with a pang that despite what they’ve just shared she’s crossed a line, the gesture was too intimate. She drops her hand, lets him back away.

It’s okay. She can wait. She’ll earn back his trust. For once neither of them is going anywhere.

Duke glances down at Nathan, a safer target. Nathan’s opened his eyes enough to squint up at them, face soft, a smug little grin on his lips. Seeing their gaze Nathan’s smile widens, genuine and a little goofy and it makes Audrey’s breath hitch. He protects his heart so fiercely she knows how much he trusts them to let them see him like this. He turns his squinty blue gaze to Duke and gestures him down. When Duke obligingly leans over Nathan wraps his hand around the back of Duke’s neck and tugs him down into a kiss. Audrey’s chest floods with delight to see it. She’s definitely never getting used to this, to them getting along, to affection open and warm passing between them.

Nathan murmurs something against Duke’s lips and Duke smiles.

Duke leans up and catches Audrey’s mouth in a deep kiss. “From Nathan,” he murmurs as they pull apart.

Audrey laughs. Sincerely the cheesiest.

She stretches out next to Nathan, feeling the exhaustion right down to her bones. Duke pauses, and he must be tired too because he can’t hide the hesitation that crosses his face. Audrey fights down a pang of alarm, he can’t be thinking they don’t want him here can he? After everything-- She opens her mouth to speak but Nathan saw the hesitation too and he is having none of that. He reaches out and drags Duke down on his other side. Duke goes, relief, there and gone in a moment over his features. Audrey smiles. He _wants_ to be here. He wants to be here as much as they want him here.

It’s a start.

Nathan tugs her over against him, not too sensitive anymore apparently. She nuzzles her head against his shoulder, hesitates a moment then reaches across his torso to rub a thumb over Duke’s hip. Duke catches her hand and Audrey tenses, already pulling it back, she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable but he kisses her knuckles then lays it over his heart and Audrey has to blink back tears. They lay quietly in the dim light Nathan’s chest rising and falling steadily beneath her arm, Duke’s heart thudding away like a clock, even and strong.

It feels incredibly good to be laying down. Almost better than the orgasm she just had if she’s being honest. She closes her eyes and basks in the silence, the warmth, the safety of Nathan’s little yellow house; in the gentle pressure of Duke’s thumb stroking over her knuckles, in Nathan’s hand running slowly up and down her back. He likes to do that when they’re at home together, gentle strokes to remind himself he can feel. She likes it too, likes knowing she can give him that.

Duke is doing that deep breathing thing that he does, holding his breath for a count of five, exhaling for five and inhaling for five and all three of their breaths are slowly syncing up. It...it’s helpful. Audrey finds herself drifting in the moment, her mind going blessedly blank. It’s a comfortable silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts but content. Audrey breathes slow and deep, feeling her muscles melting into the mattress. She can feel her boys relaxing as well, the busy drone of Nathan’s ever ticking mind is quiet, Duke’s frenetic energy banked. They shouldn't sleep like this, she thinks drowsily, it's too dangero- no, it's fine. They're fine. They're home, she reminds herself. Safe. Still it's going to get uncomfortably cold in the early morning hours. They should get up. In a minute, she decides, not really wanting to move.

When Audrey blinks herself awake for the third time she badgers them into getting up and pulling the covers down so they can crawl beneath them.

They all get dressed again, the chill chasing them back into t shirts and socks, Audrey can’t help but miss the warm press of skin on skin when they slide back into bed, mourns that loss of connection though she knows it’s distracting for Nathan. It won’t be for long she promises silently.

Duke’s reaching to turn off the lamp when Nathan’s voice stops him. “Can we… can we leave it?” Nathan asks hesitant and quiet. Audrey’s heart twists knowing he’s thinking of the dark patch. She wishes fervently she’d had the time to drop Croatoan in his own damn dark patch and leave him there for a few years.

“Sure,” Duke agrees with such a careful lack of inflection that Audrey knows he gets it too.

Honestly, she’s not upset to be sleeping in the light either for that matter.

The boys conspire to get her in the middle and it takes some adjusting to fit three full grown adults properly in the bed, even if it’s a big bed. They end up curled around each other, Nathan then Audrey then Duke. Nathan drapes his arm straight across Audrey around Duke’s waist, Audrey fits her knees in the curve of Duke’s, her ear pressed against his back. She can hear his heartbeat, strong and steady, feel the regular gust of Nathan’s breath against the back of her neck.

Audrey has no memories of sharing a bed with anyone before Chris Brody, and as much as she’d liked Chris, honestly, she’d wanted him to go home before the night was over. All her memories before Chris she’d always found an excuse to leave. She never spent the night in anyone’s bed, no matter how tempting.

With Nathan the thought of kicking him out hadn’t crossed her mind, she’d wanted him there, had been the one holding onto him in the aftermath so grateful to be herself, so grateful he’d been alive to hold on to.

With three to the bed she’d thought she might feel overwhelmed, crowded, surrounded. And maybe on other nights she will. Right now she doesn’t. She just feels _settled_ , she isn’t worried what’s happening to Nathan, she isn’t scared for Duke, because they’re there, under her hands and pressed to her skin. She can feel them, alive and breathing. If she were alone tonight she knows she’d be plagued with memories of the day, with images of the ways she’d almost lost them, with dreams of blood and death, but she's not. They’re here. Their presence keeps her out of what ifs, keeps her grounded in the moment. Their broad shoulders and solid bulk leave no room for any doubts to sneak in. They’re here. They’re alive. They’re going to cure the Troubles in the morning. It’s all going to be okay.

A yawn takes Audrey by surprise, stretching her jaw. The covers are soft but just heavy enough, and so fluffy, like you wouldn’t believe Nathan Wuornos had trouble feeling anything with this comforter he has. It feels incredibly good to be lying quietly. She’s warm and clean and safe .

 _Safe_.

The idea seems impossible but it’s the truth.

They made it. They’re _home_. The thought hits Audrey like a punch in the gut.

She can sleep now.

She thought she was all cried out in the shower but fresh tears spring to her eyes and trace their way down her cheeks. Here, she finally wishes for a little bit of that privacy she thought she’d want. She’s going to wake them up for no reason. There’s nothing wrong! She should just go to sleep. She wants to just go to sleep. But she can’t stop the tears and she’s stuck in the middle. She can’t even sneak off to the bathroom. She pulls away from Duke a little, burying her face in the pillow but she can’t quite keep her shoulders from shaking.

Duke turns over. “Audrey?” he whispers, alarm in his tone.

She shakes her head but Nathan’s moving to lean over her too.

“Parker?” he asks voice already thick with sleep.

“I’m fine,” she tells them, refusing to take her face out of the pillow, though Nathan rocks her shoulder. “It’s just relief,” she explains, hiccuping halfway through the last word.

Duke rubs her back and that only makes her cry harder. The tears come hot and fast and she can’t get a hold of herself, can’t make them stop.

“It’s okay,” Duke says and she doesn’t know if he’s talking to her or Nathan but his tired voice is soft, calm, steady. “Go ahead and cry,” he says instead of hushing her, like he isn’t so damn tired he fell asleep in ten seconds, like he doesn’t wish she would just shut up and let him sleep. “It’s okay. We’re home,” he tells her, patient and kind. He gets it. Her shoulders shake on a fierce sob. He understands without her having to explain. He thought the same thing she did; that they wouldn’t make it back, that they’d all die in the Void, that everyone in Haven would die stuck in the shroud.

Nathan wraps himself along her back, rubbing soothing hands down her arms. “Gonna be okay, Parker” Nathan joins Duke’s chorus, murmuring the words into her hair. “We made it. You got the crystal. We’re home,” his voice cracks on ‘home’, making Audrey cry harder. “’s all going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing the back of her head.

Audrey sucks in shaky breaths, biting the inside of cheek, trying hard to stop the tears. They're so tired. They're all so tired. She just wants to sleep, if she could just stop crying they could sleep.

“Audrey," Duke murmurs into her ear, his own voice gone rough with emotion, "You don’t have to keep holding it, Audrey,” he tells her. “You’ve been holding it together for so long but you’re home now. You can let go, Audrey.” Duke kisses her temple and his own face is wet. “It's alright. You can let go,” he husks out and that is the final straw. Audrey throws her arms around his neck, buries her face in his shoulder. Nathan wraps his arms around them both. She stops fighting the tears, she gives into them, sobbing for long minutes.

Neither of them hushes her, they don’t make her feel stupid or weak, they just let her cry it out with warm touches and soft murmurs of comfort. Audrey doesn’t know when it happens but she finally, finally slips into sleep, wrapped in her boys and _safe_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, a million rewrites later. Thank you for coming along on this journey with me and all the support you've poured in for this story. It's meant so much to me to know that people were enjoying this as much as I was enjoying creating it. Every comment and kudos and bookmark and reblog have encouraged me to keep writing, told me I wasn't shouting into the empty void, made me strive to do better, to write a story that would live up to your expectations. I hope that you'll be back for the sequel to Void fic in the new year. They've gotta do something about the Troubles in the morning after all, this is only their one night off. ;) And most importantly (to me at least) I hope you'll continue to tell me your favourite parts because it gives me a reason to share the story if I know there are folks enjoying it.


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